Dream: I am in a large room. It is quite wide (maybe 30-35′), but still deeper (50′?). There are people and activity taking place on either side of the room, and at the far end, but not in the middle. The walls are white. I am sitting on the left side of the room (if facing the far end). Across the way there is a man rearranging his bed. They were working on insulating the walls. The walls are large and white and clean. His bed is now as high as a bunkbed (just shoulder height) because he got a new mattress to put on top of the old ones. He’s pushing into place. It has a metal frame in a bright color (red or blue). I wouldn’t really want my mattress that high.
The lights are turned off. Some people head out of the room. Anandi Ma is at the far end of the room, She is trying to be heard, saying: “if you would use your spiritual eye, you’d be able to see in the dark.” There is a small amount of (i believe) natural light filtering in behind me.
But, alive and moving.
I am outside, eating. We are in the desert. We’ve driven down several hours along the more coastal part of California and then back up a couple hours in East of the coast til East of the Bay Area (approximately). We’re (myself and a handfull of women) sitting in orangy-pink sand/light eating together retreat style on carpets. I am eating a plate full of crunchy and tender creepy crawlies (worms or sluglike fleshy things, and many “jelly” spiders). They are all alive and I am eating them and it feels like abundance. I am a little squeamish about the “jelly” spiders for some reason. They are walking around my plate, there must be 20 of them, about quarter sized, black and gray/blue and slightly rounded around all there edges (not spindly) that is why they are jelly variety. I’ll eat them happily I guess, but I am leaving them for last! I ask the younger woman next to me if she is a mother. She seems surprised that I asked her that. “Actually, yes I am.” I think that people don’t normally think that of her, partly because she is so young. She has dark, near black, hair and looks about 24. I am smiling and excited. I say, “Oh, motherhood, is great! I think everyone should do it.”
I open my breast milk smoothie. We all have them. It is served in one of those ziplock bags used for pumping. I have to mix it up because it is cool and the milk has separated a little bit. I drink it. It has a slightly chewy texture that makes me think of chia seeds, but it’s actually white sesame seeds that are responsible. It also has a little bit of lemon juice and a large piece of mint leaf floating in it, some ice too it looks like. It tastes really nice actually, a little sweet and I do feel like sesame seeds are special too. The other women have breastmilk smoothie sacks too, but they are all closed by their sides. They are all eyeing me a little not sure about the whole smoothie thing. I am content and feeling light hearted.
Wake: Well this dream certainly ran the gammut of things I have been thinking about lately. I did go to bed freezing my ass off and thinking how nice a new mattress would be. Also, I have been thinking a lot about natural light. I want to depend on it more, but sometimes the darkness of Portland, is so intense.
Lemon Balm (from Thea Summer Deer’s Wisdom of the Plant Devas) says, “All the ways that we have explored our powers of creation and have manipulated our universe, from artificial light to microwave technology and the creation of ever more harmful chemicals, are not in alignment with the rhythms of nature. This disconnection from nature that we experience when we live in artificial environments is causing the spirit to flee the body. This isolation is one of the major causes of depression, and the statistics are staggering. While it has been necessary to explore the split into duality in our own journey to self-discovery, it is now time to align within a more expanded dimension of reality. Our survival gene, which had not been fully hooked up, is now waking up, as more strands of the DNA are “turning on” so that we can know what it is to live beyond survival. No one knows where this new hookup will take us or what it will look like. Lemon balm can help to calm and center us as we align with the new energies unfolding on the planet.”
This is a lot, but something I have been thinking a lot about. Connecting with nature and using natural light more, even in the darkness of a northern winter. I am planning that into the design of the future fly awake space (our garage that is transforming). I want our place to continue to be one to connect with nature, even when it is dark and dreary. It does make me feel so much better to see the light and rain and touch the earth. I do worry that others might not be so excited about embracing the natural light. Maybe that was coming out in the dream a little.
The eating scene was very vivid. I am a lifelong vegetarian and have considered eating meat in the past, but always sided on not. I do feel more comfortable with the idea of eating squids and worms. In the dream it felt like such a plate of abundance. Maybe I’ll consider this for real. I’ll probably need to talk to Shri Anandi Ma before I bite into a plate of worms. I did dig into some greens from the Ariadne Garden (community garden) that I thought had some bugs/worms? in them. I decided it was fine and just to eat them up, creepy crawlies and all. Spiders make me think of plans in the works. Something coming into the picture/on the edge of the web. I don’t normally go around singing the praises of motherhood and recommending it to people. I do love being a mom. I think I am going to start loving it more and worrying less about all the things I feel like I should also be doing/accomplishing. The breastmilk smoothie: wow! that was a special treat. What a symbol of abundance. What adult gets to sip on milk made for humans? Sesame seeds are cool to me because I heard somewhere that there is some nutrient in them that can only be obtained from sesame seeds. Also they are pacifying to vata, and even though it has been extremely cold and damp (more Kapha) here, due to a typhoon, it is fall and that is usually vata season (it did feel more windy and cool today).
I really enjoyed this dream because I felt so light hearted and thrilled about motherhood, creepy crawlies and my smoothie. Plus any dream with Ma is a great dream. I should give a shout out to Lori, who made me a charm that I think has been working to make me feel a little more playful and happy. Yeah!