Sea Lions

Posted on December 22, 2011 by lily

Dream: Kevin and I are going to go up North to Alaska to see whales. We are on the small wood dock. We are told the weather isn’t favorable for the whale watch. It is overcast. Two sea lions swim up to me. I am swimming in the water (the water comes up to my waist). One sea lion swims with me. We are roll around hug each other upright in the water. The other sea lion is four of five feet away. I am having so much fun. The sea lion is so large and fat. Brown, with those sea lion wiskers. This is no baby, this is a big, full grown sea lion. The lion at times he bares his teeth and bites on my sweater below the water, pulling me at me a bit. I might choose to be mildly annoyed by this pulling, but I hear: “This may be the closest you are to a sea lion again.” I decide just to enjoy being with in this moment.

Wake: Ahh! Loved this dream. It made me think of a few things: the baby, this precious time we have right now, where we are so connected. My dog, he is a little bastard, but probably will pass on soon and it may be my last time with such a wacky creature. Also, reminds me of selkie lore (although that is a seal thing) and a bit of my deer romance dream, this was the last dream that I remember being so close with an animal. In another dream, later in the night, I remember this dream and look for more sea lions.

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Dirty Ducks, Dirty Bird

Posted on December 19, 2011 by lily

Dream: I am walking along the Iowa River, across the way from the large sorority near the bridge. I see many black ducks on the water. The feathers on their heads peaks in a ridge going from front to back. They do many nice movements, they do some acrobatics as they swim along. There is one duck amongst them that looks albino. He is white, but dirty, he seems relatively content to be going along the water with the rest of them. There is another that is part white and brown in the background.  I am happy to see the ducks and surprised by their display. I am not sure if it is an expression of their individual joy or show off for someone else. They are elegant.

Along the riverside path, just a few paces down, I see a bald eagle in a tree, it is rather large, with dirty and mussed white feathers. The eagle seems sedate and is sitting almost like an owl, with head in low to the shoulders. I am happy to see the eagle, even though it is not looking so hot.

Wake: Was thinking about flight in dreams and flying awake before bed last night.  These birds seem to represent the part of me that so loves to fly. It has been neglected these last several months, but is happy to be acknowledged. The black ones seemed to be doing the best. The black might be lower energy, symbolic of the part of me that deals with the practical earthly matters. This year has been characterized by sleep deprivation and meeting basic needs as I cared for my new child and worked. That part of my life is doing increasingly better.  The white duck and eagle, perhaps signifying the spirit, seem neglected, sullied, and just maintaining–it is clear that attention and care are in need. Dirt has been a running theme in my dreams since I have had more dirt in my life and less time for purification, both physical and spiritual. I am optimistic, because things have opened up a bit in my life–and the baby is maturing–I know feel like I can manifest a routine that allows space for dreaming, art, and generally nurturing my spirit.

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Dreamtime Pamphlet vol. 4: Making Friends with Animals, Plants and Minerals

Posted on November 4, 2011 by lily

Dreamtime Pamphlet vol.4: Making Friends

In has been a long time coming but my fourth zine in the Dreamtime Pamphlets series has been published!!! Yeah. It is jam packed with lots of information about getting in touch with animals, plants, and crystals and rocks. Each section gives information related to dreaming. It also instruction meditation techniques. I poured my heart into it.

Check it out at my etsy shop: http://flyawakepdx.etsy.com

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Baby Badger Bites

Posted on October 18, 2011 by lily

Dream:

I am walking down the middle of a street. It’s daytime. A mother and baby badger brush past me. They look unmistakeably like badgers: black with white markings, crazy looking teeth, and look vicious by genetic design, not intent. Somehow, as they went by, the baby jumped on me and bit my shoulder, the baby also bit my butt on the way up to my shoulder. It doesn’t seem like mal intent. I worry about catching something from the badger (like rabies). I ask if there is anything going around. The mom talks to me and says, ‘Maybe some tense jaws and seasonal stuff.’ I shake my head (this is not what I meant). I think I should go get a blood test. Then I realize that it would be easier to test the baby badger. She’s okay with this idea (the baby). I walk off, on my way to the vet. I do some other stuff and realize I haven’t been keeping an eye on the baby badger. I arrive at the vet to get my labs drawn. In the waiting room, near the counter, a woman tells me that the baby badger came to get tested (so that will happen instead of my tests). The badger steps out from behind the counter…she doesn’t seem happy to be there, but I am impressed that she came on her own–very conscientious.

Later outside, I see the Mom badger looking around the large sand pit in the landscaping for her baby. I want to go bring the baby to her. The people there tell me that she’ll have nothing to do with the baby. I wonder if this is because of human smell. I plan to bring the baby to her anyway. It seems like it is worth a try. I am sad for the mom.

Wake: Second baby badger dream I’ve had since getting pregnant with the wee one. I’ll dig up that old dream and check out any connection. Is it that she’s badgering me? (I don’t think of it that way.) Or, is it that badgers are considered little bears? We are a bear family (lots of bear connections/energy). We have an underground sand pit in our back yard. I was reading about badgers after this dream. They make huge underground caverns…I could see a sand pit getting in the way of this. Also a problem for roots (badgers use root medicines).  I liked these dream badgers.

Later/wake: I was talking to my Matthew Wood in herb class and he mentioned a few things about badgers, one being that they are considered children’s animal medicine because they are thought of as the smallest bear in some Native American Indian thinking. The badger seems to be more helpful for things we might be dealing with than things in their world.  Also this dream is one of many that I have had reminding me work on the sand pit in our backyard that I am sure would be much more helpful to herbs and creatures as a soil pit.

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Language, Manifestation, Original Sin

Posted on September 21, 2011 by lily

“The named is the mother of ten thousand things.”

-Verse 1 Tao Te Ching (Feng/English)

A few comments on language and manifestation.

When we describe things we restrict their presence in reality. When we use language we divide ourselves from each other and separate ourselves from our environment/the whole.  Creating separateness from unity is the original sin, according to Hindu thinking. When we choose our words to describe events in dreamtime we must be very careful. It can be helpful to write down our dreams because they Dreams are slippery and can evaporate or change before we know it. But, how we use language to describe them can also limit their meaning.  Castenada discusses the importance of using terms like “it seems so”, vs. ”it is so”. This is the way the subtle must be told.  It is nearly impossible to understand the nature of our dreams therefore, it is important not to presume understanding when things are ambiguous.

Waking Time: The infinite possibilities before us are limited by our determinations–our descriptions. For example, when we begin to feel that familiar fatigue or fog in our head that can preceed an illness. If I say, “I am getting sick.” it becomes difficult for that not to happen. We assume we know that because we are tired and have a dull feeling in our heads we must be getting sick. Whereas, if I state: “I am fighting something off, I need some rest,”or, just go get some rest, I leave things open to proceed in other ways. I may still get sick, or I may recooperate enough so that I do not need to become ill, or it is possible that I wasn’t actually pre-sick!  This type of situation comes up many times during a typical day. How many things do we assume, or just allow our language to make into a fact? ‘So and so didn’t talk to me, they must be mad at me,’ ’I am going to do poorly on my test’, etc.  It is preferable to either leave things open ended: such as ‘Hmmm…so and so didn’t talk to me, I wonder what they are thinking’ or, ‘I am going to take a test…maybe I will do well’… or, just observe things as they are: ‘So and so didn’t talk to me’, ‘I am going to take a test’.

By being more precise about our language, and realizing how our language effects outcomes we can take the driver’s seat a bit more in life. Our will is transformative. Just remember, the waking time is a group project, there are many collaborators manifesting together. More info here.

“Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.” –Aleister Crowley, The Book of the Law/Liber Al Vel Legis

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Nursing Vegetables

Posted on September 10, 2011 by lily

Dream(s): A series of intense flashes of my daughter drinking vegetable juice and nursing and getting vegetable juice through the mother’s milk.

Wake: The little one fed so many times last night (making up for lost drinking during recent cold). It seems like the juice goes through the milk strongly! I am glad that she’s getting good healthy milk. Makes me even more excited about juicing.

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Vegetables and Fruit

Posted on August 24, 2011 by lily

Wake: Last night I had my first vegetable juice in our new juicer. My husband was very excited to make me something that he hoped I would enjoy. It didn’t taste bad, but it turned out to be a bit strong (beets, beet greens, swiss chard, carrot and carrot greens) and I spent the next hour or so trying not to vomit! My husband felt bad but, it turned out to be a good experience after all. My night was filled with vivid dreams of vegetables and fruit (especially beets and strawberries) very large and powerful. I think I am sold on the power of the raw vegetable juice. We’ll see how it goes. Here is some information that came through.

Dream: (Part 1) In herb class, my teacher talks to the wind. I say to myself, “I want to talk to the wind.” I am feeling a bit jealous! I am turned to the North and feel the wind pick up and breeze through me; I think of Lupine. A voice (North) says, “(You can listen to the wind now, almost anyone can.) The world has gotten very windy because our blood is dirty–needs to be cleansed”. This is related to the weather changes too. All of our blood needs to be cleansed. I see an image of a red blood cell up close. The edges are dirty and there are three dirty streaks through the middle as well.

(Part 2) The class is in a large auditorium. I see a secret door to the basement. Some people follow me down there, it is necessary to slip down there through an opening. The basement is large, with high ceilings.  I expect to find lots of stuff stored there. It is mostly empty, a brown cavernous storehouse type area. The first part is finished and back area has a dirt floor (but the ceiling height is just as high if not higher). I turn to go back up.  A girl/friend grabs a rug from a pile–it is the only stuff down there. I ask her about it. She doesn’t need it, she just wanted to take something. We had thought there would be lots of stuff, but when I saw there was nothing, (or nearly nothing,) I immediately turned to go back up, as did most of the others who had come down as well. She was the only one to grab something.

Wake: Beets, beet greens and chard are all blood cleansers. I have never had such a potent experience eating quantities of cooked beets, etc. But then I usually don’t eat the spines of either of those greens and I think those are extra strong. Strawberries are good for heat, cooling the liver (among other properties). Lupine, is a plant that I discovered through dream (earlier this summer) that it is good for septic-like conditions, shock/toxic/heat illness. But, I think in this case it might have been an example of the wind being easier to hear, or perhaps the voice speaking to me in the dream. Part 2: the secret underground storehouse–it seemed like we were expecting to gather some gifts from the Earth, it reminded me of a root cellar (very large root cellar). It did feel adventurous and fun to slip down into the underground, even though it wasn’t what we expected. The basement had a quiet/empty feel to it, there seemed to be nothing there for us to take, but it was not negative or positive.

9/8-Have continued to juice in general and beets and the cleansing greens in particular…feeling perkier, losing a bit of baby weight, and it is definitely strengthening my alliance with/devotion to vegetables and fruit.

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Buffalo and Rhinoceros

Posted on August 5, 2011 by lily

Dream: I am standing outside of a fenced field. The fence is a simple wood construction to keep cattle contained. Instead of cattle, there are rhinoceros and buffalo in the large field the fence contains. I see a buffalo standing next to a rhino–I see them in profile. The buffalo is about 2/3 to 3/4 the size of the rhino. The buffaloes and rhinos are milling about, they are rather close together. I am surprised to see these two species together. I want to watch them closely, I am curious to learn more about the animals by seeing them up close. Some are hitting their horns together to prove their status. There are going to be fights between the rhinos and buffaloes. Also watching the scene are girls with their parents. There is one girl per family, they are about 7-8 years old. The bystanders are excited about the fight.  I do not like the idea of the fight being watched as a spectacle, especially with these young girls around. I leave shortly, because of these objections.

Wake: These two animals are not ones that I would have thought of at the same time. When I initially think of the buffalo I think of using all parts of the animal sacredly and honoring the gift of meat and the other tools that come from animals. Having the rhino in the dream as well made me question that. What they have in common: Both are large horned animals who have been brought to near extinction by humans. They are also very large and strong, can be aggressive, and are herbivores. In the dream the aggression seemed to be something they were made to do by humans–not to protect themselves, but to put on a show, they seemed adulterated.  It seemed like the human culture had penned them in and forced them to be aggressive…is it a matter of culture necessitating aggression, or the illusion that we need to be more aggressive? Prior to this dream I was (yet again) concerned that I could not maintain my strength as a vegetarian. The strength of these animals made me question that. I looked at what they really eat: vegetable matter all day long. Not processed food, dairy, sugar, etc.

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The Lemurian and the Coyote

Posted on July 24, 2011 by lily

Dream:

I am standing at a doorway ready to go out into a garden/pathway. I am with a friend. We are about to go out when a coyote comes up to the door–there are actually two doors side by side, they are black metal rimmed glass doors (think commercial/institutional). Both doors are open and the coyote goes in one and out the other in circles; he is having trouble figuring out the situation. A little (humorous) alarm goes off in my head when I see the coyote. Have my tricks only been tricking myself? Now we have trouble getting ourselves through the door. It’s more of an issue of asserting ourselves than actually being physically blocked.

There is a Lemurian man on horseback nearby and another a couple women. The man steps forward a bit–he will guide us through the courtyard. He is brown, with blocky features and extremely erect posture.  He doesn’t have a nose like us, if anything it is more like a monkey’s face, but no hair, his brown skin has a wood grain-like pattern. He travels out into the courtyard and we go along side of him. His people are excellent navigators. There are a few pieces of pooh along the path, but we go around them.

There are some small hoses/nozzles that are going off with electricity shooting out of them.

I speak with the Lemurian man excitedly. They are excellent navigators/guides and he is extremely polite. I tell him I’ve heard that his people are phenomenal linguists. He is bright and energetic. I think of him a bit as a monkey at this point.  He affirms this and tells me most (Lemurians) speak English (I get the sense he has an impeccable and wide grasp of the language) and he speaks a words in Lemurian, but, (approx:) “Honestly, one of the most common phrases is ‘can you tell me how to say it in English?’. So many people speak English.” He laughs a bit. He tells me this as we go through the door on the other side of the courtyard. I wonder if they are good with languages because they different from everyone else, i.e. are not from any of our current Earth races.

The coyote came along with us on our mini journey.  Once on the other side of the door the coyote is trying to get a drink from a very aggressive sprinkler. We are still outside, but now it is more of cement and a bit of grass and plants, not formally gardened. The Lemurian disregards the coyote, he thinks the coyote should be able to drink some water from the puddles around the sprinkler. The coyote is getting the bottom of his chin sprayed strongly. After a bit the Lemurian shows me how to turn down the sprinkler. The coyote lays with his chin on the spray (more gentle now) and front legs stretched in front of him. He looks happy.

Wake: Yesterday my back was bothering me after moving a futon (shame on me with my bad back!) and was thinking about taking my Lemurian crystal to bed with me. It has helped me in the past when my back’s been out of wack, but I chose not to use it because I hadn’t cleansed it yet after the last time I used it. Of course I was feeling bad too, because it has been a long time since I last used the crystal. I was delighted that the Lemurian man showed up without the crystal. The poop on the path could possibly be related to not cleansing the crystal yet, or just the amount of poop in my life with the baby and small dog. The electric spray could be related to my back/nerves firing unpleasantly.

The coyote seems like it could be having to do with me picking up the futon–coyote gets caught up in its own tricks–or an incident that occurred last night at work. Especially with the water spray, it seems like the work event, which has to do with a person breaking the rules to go outside and then perhaps indulging in heroin. I associate heroin with the overindulgence in the water element.

In the dream I associate the Lemurian man with a monkey (lemur pun connection? and possibly also the vaguely monkey look to his face–boxy nose/mouth). I don’t know how a Lemurian man actually looks of course! When I first woke I thought of the man as being from space. I’ll have to learn a bit more about the Lemurians, it could be this has to do with the feel of the person, rather than his actual place of origin, maybe not.

The Lemurian man rides on a horse (I associate with power/strength). He is excellent with navigation and language (mercury). Restoring strength through properly aligning pathways/nerves? It seems the lemurian crystals are stimulating to the pituitary gland and my friend in the dream is having issues with hers. This dream was so interesting. Thank you to the Lemurian man!

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Guruji Kisses

Posted on July 18, 2011 by lily

Dream:
1. Having trouble doing my practices and getting us to see Ma. I think about it and realize that things will be much easier next year. I feel better.

2. My daughter is laying on a big clear plastic bag on the floor. I move her around by spinning the plastic around in a circle. It has poop residue on it, like the bags we use to pick up Coco’s pooh. I try to pick up all the poop pieces, but it’s still dirty. I wonder why she’s in the bag.
I’m in a medium sized white room. The paint is dirty. There are many people there. We are getting ready to meditate. Dhyanyogi is there at the front. Somehow I bring the baby up to Him and He is holding her in His arms. He holds her for a long time. I’m back at my seat talking to someone but, after a while I feel like I should go get Her. He’s held her longer than He held some others. I go up and stand near Him, but He keeps holding her. Then He puts her to the side–now she sticks out from the wall at an angle and there is a spear next to her. She looks chock full of energy.
Next I take her back towards where I was sitting. There is a bathroom nearby and I lay her down on the floor. The bathroom is not very clean. I go sit but she starts to cry. I pick her up and go sit back down. The program has begun, Guruji is going around the room. He is kissing everyone on the crown of their head. He holds their head on either side and kisses each person once. He kisses my head three times. He tells me, “You are perfectly designed to give her everything she needs, as a mother.” I thank Him. I feel so good. He kisses my daughter two times. He starts to move on, then pauses, He helps the two of us lean over so that the Energy can flow into us more easily.
After the program I run around exclaiming to people about how exciting it is that I got to meet Shri Dhyanyogiji. I thought I would never get to meet Him in the flesh, since He had left the material plane, but I did!!! I thought He was dead, but I guess not. So exciting! He looked so physical, so Himself. His frame, age, accent, love–it all seemed so real. Tattva comes to mind–maybe that’s what Guru tattva means.
I am looking at brochure that describes a few retreats that they are having. I see that this one is sponsored by a woman disciple–the Susan G. Kowen retreat (something like that). It is a disciple I know, I think she did have breast cancer. I am happily surprised, I guess that some disciples have money.

Wake: I woke up looking into my baby’s eyes as she smiled at me, and feeling totally awesome. Guru Purnima happened this weekend (7/15). Yesterday (Sunday) I sat in meditation and felt so bad. It has been hard to do my practices since the baby came. In the past I rarely let anything stand in the way of my meditation, including sleep. But now I need to sleep when I can so that I can take care of the baby and be at my best for my family. I felt disconnected from the Gurus (Shri Dhyanyogi Madhusudandas and Shri Anandi Ma), and was worried that I wouldn’t have spiritual experiences again until I got my act together with my practices. I really want to take the baby to see Ma so that they can meet in person and Shri Anandi Ma can hold her. I was also worried that I wasn’t giving the baby enough nutrition to the baby through my milk, because of my diet (vegetarian), and because she wants to eat my grown-up food so badly! Etc, etc, I was basically having a worry fest. These dreams made me feel so much better. Now I can let go of my fretting. It is a reminder to be in the moment, and the moment just happens to be one where I need to prioritize being a mom. Doing this doesn’t mean that I am further from the Gurus, perhaps it means I am even closer. It sounds like this experience is going to help me understand the Guru tattva better. Jai Gurudeva!

Another component of the dream is the obvious theme of dirt. This has been another issue, largely since the baby came. Purification is important in the spiritual practices, and things seem anything but pure at this point. The baby is a poop and pee machine. The house is dirtier than normal because we are so busy with the baby and work. The dog is an ongoing impure character in our lives. We also used to be pretty strict about no shoes in the house, but have gotten lax about that because it can be difficult to navigate shoes when carrying baby. Oy vey! I think it is time to see if we can’t improve a bit on the situation. But…still Dhyanyogi was there, stronger than ever. Got to have faith in the Guru, even when life asserts itself.

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