Update…Still dreaming

Hey there, I’ve been posting a lot through my business’s dream share under “Arati Lloyd” check dreams there, and you can post your own. Just contact me.

http://flyawakepdx.com/blog/?page_id=563

Will be posting some articles I am writing, etc. coming up. I’ll probably also get my shiz together to repost the dreams here as well. Thanks for reading and being interested in dreamtime.

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Intentions and Bears

Dream: (11.27) I go into a larger sized room, I am holding a stack of blank white paper to my belly. I am being led by a man. He brings me in and I stay on one side of a narrow furniture while he goes to the other side near to the sleeping bear. The bear is flat on its back, with just its head propped against a small tree. The bear is for me (and he would give it to me on a leash,) but, he says, “the bear has just fallen asleep. Ideally the bear should be in dreams for two hours but, I recommend waiting at least 30minutes before waking him up.” I had been sitting calmly and I am not interested in waking up a bear. I wouldn’t have imagined doing so. Bear needs to be in dreams not interrupted while fulfilling one of its most important roles. However, since there will be this wait, I think for a moment and say, “Actually I’ll take the tree. It’s what I really want.” The man jumps up and starts dancing like a leprechaun. He is laughing at me. “You wanted the tree and you asked for the bear instead?” I had wanted the tree, apparently, but didn’t think that I could get the tree so, I asked for the bear…which I also seemed a stretch but, I thought it more likely. The man was laughing at my poor intention setting. I feel calm in spite of all this.

Wake: The tree in the dream seemed remarkably young. I thought it might be a dogwood. After I am awake for a while “jamaican dogwood” keeps going through my mind. I was really surprised about this decision that I made against the bear, pleased that my wishes were being fulfilled (yeah!) and appreciative of the man’s sense of humor…because it did seem like poor intention setting from someone who really tries to set intention clearly.  I worked through this dream with my dream partner. Initially I was a little concerned about two things. One: why i would pick the tree and not the bear (I really want the bear and I hardly know anything about this tree). Two: poor intention setting…is there an area (areas?) of my life where I am settling for less? Here is a man who is delivering me my desires (slightly unexpected, though I try to faith in the universe providing) and I am not clear on asking for what I truly want. Upon further reflection the bear seems a bit dingy…also, I don’t understand the leash. The bear seems like it would be too tame, too worn out, and too on command. The leash is not particularly strong. In some ways I wonder if the tree is sprouting from the bears head. I initially saw it as a (very small) entrance to the underworld). Perhaps something that actually is coming out of the bears dreams. The bear seems like it needs rest. The bear is sleeping like people in my family. We all need more rest right now. All a bit dingey. The tree is young, like I said, and bare, except for one whitish flower on the left side (as I face it). We talked about the nature and appearance of the “leprechaun” man…he is caucasian, and wearing loose clothing in neutral colors. He doesn’t particularly remind me of anyone. He seems neutral (not menacing at all). My dream buddy mentioned that leprechaun’s are gaurdians of treasure. This seems appropriate, given these very special gifts he seemed ready share. I feel fortunate that he is offering me these things…it doesn’t seem like it will be a problem to have the tree. At first I thought I might have been hasty not choosing the bear, but I feel better after thinking about the bear’s condition more. It might not have been in the best interest of the either of us.

I don’t really see Jamaican Dogwood in my herb books. I associate Pacific Dogwood with extreme paranoia (and that’s about it! a little more knowledge would be nice I think).

Dream: (11/30/13)

I am doing some “normal” activities and I hear someone singing, rather loudly, in the background: “You want to party with the Jamaicans” repeatedly.

Wake: Okay, I look up the Jamaican dogwood, internet style…not my preferred way of doing things, but still useful in some instances. It appears that Jamaican dogwood is useful for a variety of ailmentsI have had in the past: migraines, endometriosis, nerve pain in general and skin ailments of any kind. I am currently having a skin ailment, so I obtained some JD and am using as a wash, but also drinking it, in case this dream refers to a deeper, systemic imbalance. I am quite interested to see how this will go. Plus, just remembering the catchy “you want to party with the jamaicans” cracks me up a little. That’s good for me too.  Apparently it is a very helpful herb (for some issues that often aren’t easily fixed) but, it’s toxic. So, I’ll just have to watch out for odd neurological and gastrointestinal symptoms. One can only assume it’ll be worth it. (Um, and hopefully, there’ll be none of that weird stuff.)
**If you don’t have time to read all those articles, hot tip: hops, valerian and j.d. can mean insomnia relief.

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Abundance/Retreat Dream

 Dream: I am in a large room. It is quite wide (maybe 30-35′), but still deeper (50′?). There are people and activity taking place on either side of the room, and at the far end, but not in the middle. The walls are white. I am sitting on the left side of the room (if facing the far end). Across the way there is a man rearranging his bed. They were working on insulating the walls. The walls are large and white and clean. His bed is now as high as a bunkbed (just shoulder height) because he got a new mattress to put on top of the old ones. He’s pushing into place. It has a metal frame in a bright color (red or blue). I wouldn’t really want my mattress that high.

The lights are turned off. Some people head out of the room. Anandi Ma is at the far end of the room, She is trying to be heard, saying: “if you would use your spiritual eye, you’d be able to see in the dark.” There is a small amount of (i believe) natural light filtering in behind me.

But, alive and moving.

I am outside, eating. We are in the desert. We’ve driven down several hours along the more coastal part of California and then back up a couple hours in East of the coast til East of the Bay Area (approximately). We’re (myself and a handfull of women) sitting in orangy-pink sand/light eating together retreat style on carpets. I am eating a plate full of crunchy and tender creepy crawlies (worms or sluglike fleshy things, and many “jelly” spiders). They are all alive and I am eating them and it feels like abundance. I am a little squeamish about the “jelly” spiders for some reason. They are walking around my plate, there must be 20 of them, about quarter sized, black and gray/blue and slightly rounded around all there edges (not spindly) that is why they are jelly variety. I’ll eat them happily I guess, but I am leaving them for last! I ask the younger woman next to me if she is a mother. She seems surprised that I asked her that. “Actually, yes I am.” I think that people don’t normally think that of her, partly because she is so young. She has dark, near black, hair and looks about 24. I am smiling and excited. I say, “Oh, motherhood, is great! I think everyone should do it.”

I open my breast milk smoothie.  We all have them. It is served in one of those ziplock bags used for pumping. I have to mix it up because it is cool and the milk has separated a little bit. I drink it. It has a slightly chewy texture that makes me think of chia seeds, but it’s actually white sesame seeds that are responsible. It also has a little bit of lemon juice and a large piece of mint leaf floating in it, some ice too it looks like. It tastes really nice actually, a little sweet and I do feel like sesame seeds are special too.  The other women have breastmilk smoothie sacks too, but they are all closed by their sides. They are all eyeing me a little not sure about the whole smoothie thing. I am content and feeling light hearted.

Wake: Well this dream certainly ran the gammut of things I have been thinking about lately. I did go to bed freezing my ass off and thinking how nice a new mattress would be. Also, I have been thinking a lot about natural light. I want to depend on it more, but sometimes the darkness of Portland, is so intense.

Lemon Balm (from Thea Summer Deer’s Wisdom of the Plant Devas) says, “All the ways that we have explored our powers of creation and have manipulated our universe, from artificial light to microwave technology and the creation of ever more harmful chemicals, are not in alignment with the rhythms of nature. This disconnection from nature that we experience when we live in artificial environments is causing the spirit to flee the body. This isolation is one of the major causes of depression, and the statistics are staggering. While it has been necessary to explore the split into duality in our own journey to self-discovery, it is now time to align within a more expanded dimension of reality. Our survival gene, which had not been fully hooked up, is now waking up, as more strands of the DNA are “turning on” so that we can know what it is to live beyond survival. No one knows where this new hookup will take us or what it will look like. Lemon balm can help to calm and center us as we align with the new energies unfolding on the planet.”

This is a lot, but something I have been thinking a lot about. Connecting with nature and using natural light more, even in the darkness of a northern winter. I am planning that into the design of the future fly awake space (our garage that is transforming). I want our place to continue to be one to connect with nature, even when it is dark and dreary. It does make me feel so much better to see the light and rain and touch the earth. I do worry that others might not be so excited about embracing the natural light. Maybe that was coming out in the dream a little.

The eating scene was very vivid. I am a lifelong vegetarian and have considered eating meat in the past, but always sided on not. I do feel more comfortable with the idea of eating squids and worms. In the dream it felt like such a plate of abundance.  Maybe I’ll consider this for real. I’ll probably need to talk to Shri Anandi Ma before I bite into a plate of worms. I did dig into some greens from the Ariadne Garden (community garden) that I thought had some bugs/worms? in them. I decided it was fine and just to eat them up, creepy crawlies and all. Spiders make me think of plans in the works. Something coming into the picture/on the edge of the web. I don’t normally go around singing the praises of motherhood and recommending it to people. I do love being a mom. I think I am going to start loving it more and worrying less about all the things I feel like I should also be doing/accomplishing. The breastmilk smoothie: wow! that was a special treat. What a symbol of abundance. What adult gets to sip on milk made for humans? Sesame seeds are cool to me because I heard somewhere that there is some nutrient in them that can only be obtained from sesame seeds. Also they are pacifying to vata, and even though it has been extremely cold and damp (more Kapha) here, due to a typhoon, it is fall and that is usually vata season (it did feel more windy and cool today).

I really enjoyed this dream because I felt so light hearted and thrilled about motherhood, creepy crawlies and my smoothie. Plus any dream with Ma is a great dream. I should give a shout out to Lori, who made me a charm that I think has been working to make me feel a little more playful and happy. Yeah!

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Raccoon Baby

Lately I have been hearing about soul retrieval from many different people. Last night I was working with this idea as I lay in bed. The idea came into my mind to use my crystal, as in holding on to it during sleep. I felt better during the night than I did either yesterday or today. My mild headache was gone. I also had clear dreams and, though they were brighter, restful sleep.

Dream: I walk along a high bank with low grass. There is a large tree just in front of me. I don’t see the river, but I sense it is there. I pass the tree and a small raccoon is there. The raccoon is upset about something that happens in the river bed (I don’t see what happens). The raccoon jumps up and goes under my shirt. At first I am a little alarmed but, then I realize that the little buddy just wants me to protect it and provide comfort. I can feel/see the little fingers curving against my skin. I look around excitedly. Someone is there. They are also a little surprised that it is a good situation. I tell her “I really should blog about this–it’s so amazing!” I am feeling good about the little animal’s attraction to me. I tell the lady, “Animals seem to be drawn to me. One time I opened the back door of my car for a deer seeking protection (he got right in.)” I am so happy to hold the raccoon who still seems nervous.

Wake: So, first I realize that this didn’t happen in waking time, which is a little deflating. I recover quickly.  I think of raccoons as protectors. They have a watcher/protector that gaurds while they retrieve food but, they return and feed the protector before the gathers eat. Raccoons are also very good with their hands and clever about figuring out how to get what they want. The first person this raccoon makes me think of is my daughter. My daughter is having a lot of fear of dogs right now and needing support when they are too close to her. In light of my “soul retrieval” activities before sleep, I do wonder if it is some part of me I was disconnected from. It is interesting to me that an animal I see as a protector, (albeit in baby form, so inherently needing protection), wants my protection. Raccoon can be seen as a little bear. It can also portend a longer term phase (about 20 weeks) over which something will develop. Raccoons are crafty and able to find clever ways to get what they want.

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Getting out the Mattresses

Dream: I am getting out mattresses with Lekshe. They are horizontal scattered around the room. They are covered in thick, slightly oily, dust. I blow on one of them and some of the dust is moved. Maybe 70% less dust. That seems fine to me. Apparently I am not going for a deep cleaning, just a quick tidying and reorganizing. There is a mattress that has a hot pink (maybe raspberry), quilted surface that is a little satiny looking. It looks like it has the pillow built in because it is about 4 to 5 inches higher in at the head of the bed. I keep glancing at it, it is unusual.

Lekshe starts coughing and spits out some saliva mixed with a little phlegm onto one of the mattresses. The phlegm has some brown specks on it. I wipe it off without much care. I put my arm around her shoulders and say, “if anyone else did that I wouldn’t be okay with it but, with you…” I give her a  couple pats on her shoulder to imply it is all good.

I feel good about what I am accomplishing (with the mattresses).

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Long Eared Owl Update

It has been such a long time since my last post. We opened a little business, here in Portland, OR, call the “Fly Awake Tea Garden”. We serve tea and encourage lucidity. It is going great, (recently in WWeek’s Best of Portland). I also am leading a dream group again and giving talks. Check out the website and let me know if you are interested. But back to the owl.

Months ago I met the long-eared owl after a permonitory dream. He had a dislocated elbow and a broken wing. The care center’s vet felt the dislocation most concerning, apparently they don’t typically heal easily. I brought in some true solomon’s seal (a ligament/joint herb extraordinaire). By the next week the joint was feeling much better (on palpation–he didn’t tell me anything himself!). That was encouraging but, wing breaks are hard on owl’s and they rarely are able to be released back into the wild after they heal. So, for the time being the long-eared owl remains at the care center. It is sad to me because he seemed quite distressed the last time I was able to hold him. Having a less than perfect wing makes survival in the wild challenging. He will eventually be an educational bird at a very lucky care/raptor center. Hopefully he will be somewhere near by, so that I can see him again after he has mellowed out in his new home, where he will have more space and stimulation. The dream taught me to be a little more sensitive to the birds fragile nature when we wrap them up and hold them. Also, just very exciting to connect with the birds.

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Holding a Long Eared Owl

Dream (2/19): I look down and realize I am holding an owl in my hand. I remind myself to be very gentle. I touch its head from behind; its eyes get fuzzy gray (like the inner lid is closed). I am touching it like I might give it something orally, but am not yet being very firm or prying the mouth open. It is delicately soft, with fine feathers around the neck. It looks like a great horned owl, but small, like a short eared size (but with ears!).

Wake (2/20): At the WCC this morning and in report I was told that there was a new resident that arrived (2/18)…a long-eared owl! I’d never seen one before and they come into the care center very rarely (once every year or so). It looks very similar to a great horned owl, but much smaller, and slightly longer “ears”. I was lucky enough to hold the little guy. He was so beautiful, and pretty energetic too. I was starting cry a bit while holding him and my heart was blooming with the good energy…I must have had a bit of a connection with this one. I really look forward to seeing him next week…I hope he (or she) is doing better, but that I get to see him at least once more. Maybe in dreamtime, if not at the care center.

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Magical Day at the Audubon

Wake: I am at the Audubon, volunteering at the WCC. I go outside with Joe, another volunteer, to hear Julio, the great horned owl, hooting. I’ve never seen an owl hooting up close, I can see her chest puff out as she did…her white patch growing as she calls out.

Later, I see a crowd grow outside. I go out and see that wild ravens are talking to Aristophanes, the resident raven. It seems like Ari might be a little overwhelmed by this by the sounds he is making. They continue talk back an forth for a long time. Then Syd, the red tailed hawk at the center, starts screeching. I can hear the complexity of the hawk cry so much better up close, it is very nuanced. I go back inside to do some more work, only to hear Finnegan, the peregrine falcon, start making (very loud) noises too.

Spring is here and the birds seem to be feeling it! A very exciting day at the Audubon. It was so nice to see the care center educational birds using their voices.

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Whale Tail

Dream: Whales moving through the water. The water seems to be a bay. They are in the same area as ships. Old-fashioned wooden ships. Their sails are not up. One has a simple wooden cross on it. 

The time changes and there is not as much activity. Not as many whales I mean. There are more modern sea vehicles. They are made of metal and are painted bright colors. This is maybe 1960′s or 1970′s.

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Ghost in the New House

Dream: I have two foster kids, and my daughter, Uva ursi. We carry Uva ursi around a lot. The older foster child keeps to herself most of the time. The younger one–who is 5 or 6 years old–I love her after only three weeks. I know she’s never really had parents–I wonder if enough love would heal that–but then I don’t know what else has happened in her life. She looks malnourished–paler than she ought, and a little gaunt. She seems unwell, like she is emotionally unwell.  

 The foster worker comes by. I am nervous about her visit.  She comes right in the side door and makes herself at home. She wanders around, talking to me and then starts making some eggs. I tell her that the younger girl, who is nearly naked and in my arms, seems to be having some issues with eggs and dairy. She makes a comment, like ‘don’t you think we would have picked up on that by now?’ I say, “Well maybe, it was because I was trying to eat a lot of eggs.”

She’s going to take the younger girl away–maybe because we are getting too attached?  I guess that’ll give me more time to spend with the older girl.  I wonder if they didn’t give us just one child in the beginning to keep the girls safer.  With two in the house, one could watch out for the other. I am sad that the little girl is no longer with us.

The lady flicks a switch in the middle of the house and, through the front door, I see the front steps mechanically change to a super nice ramp. Hmmm…I wonder if I should get a wheelchair so that I can face those fears. (Fears of taking care of disabled children?). I finally have a short time to myself to do some work. I sit in the living room to do some sorting.

It is a 40′s/50′s-ish house reminds me a bit of my friend Eva’s old house. 

I start to go through some stuff in the wall cubbies that I hadn’t really noticed that much before. The trim/doors are painted yellow (orange side). I am talking to a ghost as I do it. She has long black straight hair and is sitting in a swivel-looking chair behind me. I push a wall of shelves to the side and see more storage area. It is mostly cleaned out, but there are a few things. These seem to be things she left behind in the house. I see some fish platters stacked there on the floor. I ask if they shouldn’t go to her family — ‘No, they are not that important–just something I started collecting of late.’

There are other odds and ends. I organize them. They seem to expand in number as I go through them. I arrange them so I can close the doors again. She talks about an article she wrote, it is something about Southern women being able to buy fancy stuff on the cheap. The story has a catchy title. I remember hearing about it in a few places. I tell her this.  She seems taken aback for a moment. I say jokingly, ‘You live on in infamy.’ She seems to snap out of her mode for a minute, like she hadn’t been thinking of that other area of her life. She tells me the title of another article. I haven’t heard of it.

She says she stays mostly because of her family. Everything seems to be red with them. (Her energy is strong red, when they come up). I don’t quite understand the situation, and she can’t elaborate.  It seems like the energy levels are dramatic and low: maybe anger, drama, violence and sex?

She looks like she is in her 50′s, but fairly stylish. I see things that indicate she may have been older when she died. Old dusty, greasy glasses and a pattern for an instant girls dress from the 1940′s. 

She says her family is calling her (she feels them tugging at her). I ask her, ‘Why don’t you stay with me?’ She starts to look uglier and and scarier as the negativity pulls at her. She replies, ‘Why, we’re not going to do anything.’ Me: ‘Yeah, but you might get to the point of peace where you can finally leave this plain of living.’ She leaves, saying, ‘I’ll be at the boarded up green house around the corner.’ In my mind’s eye I see the pale, mint green house in my neighborhood.

I close up the cubby hole, just managing to get everything inside.

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