fly awake

Dream: I am flying like an owl! I lift up my arms in waves like owls do and my head points forward. I am not an owl, but my arms move like an owl moves its wings. I am outside above some green, flying at shoulder height around a few people. I waver a couple times, but manage to remember how to stay aloft and keep going. I fly a short distance and see a large owl feather about 20 feet in front of me, near a woman’s head. It is huge and I am very excited that I have only just started flying like an owl and already this feather has popped into my life.

I fly closer. A man is standing next to the woman, and her boyfriend is across from her closer to me (as I fly by him). The two men are positioned across from each other like you would be to play catch. They are somehow using the feather as a lure for hunting or something. I stand in front of the woman and see that this approximately 16 inch long feather is attached to her right ear.

I tell her I like the feather. She says something like, “Yeah, thanks, it’s cool isn’t it?” I say, “Let me be more clear: What do I need to do to get you to give me that feather?” She thinks for a moment and says, “Make me a scout troop 023 hat.” “Oh, 23,” I’m thinking, “that’s a good number.”

I get right on it. I’m home at my desk making the scout hat. It’s an old army green cap.  I’ve already printed out the patches for the numbers from the internet. Still I have a few more finishing touches to do.

Wake: I am so excited to be flying that I forget that it is a dream. Everything is very good–the flying, the feather, the number 23 (my fav), that I can attain what I desire. This dream was such a relief, the last week I have been over heated and stressed and have had more than my share of nightmares and stress dreams–oy vey! Finally a dream that was uplifting so to speak. There are a couple things that intrigue me: 1) men using the feather (attached to girlfriend) as a lure and 2.) owl, which I love, but can also signal deception. I’ll have to be watching, in an owl way, to see what’s going on under the surface. The silent killers are my friends.

Ceanothus, Red Root, Lilac Bush, Oregon Tea Tree, Jersey Tea

Dream: My friends have made an art installation in my honor/on my behalf. They put it together in the dank unfinished basement room behind the bar I’m sitting in. There is a party going on for the show. A band is playing–they are the new up and coming girl band–they are an unexpected surprise. I’m holding a beer and I talk with a girl. I’ve met her before and I thought she was cool. She likes me and she writes her phone number on a tiny photo booth sticker and gives it to me with a smile. I’m excited about it. I think of her as “the cutest girl in the world”. They’re bringing out the pieces of the show at just the right moment. The show is an art installation, but it is also subversive, perhaps anarchist–it’s a trick for the people, a good trick, designed to make people feel better, to uplift them out of their ways. I like this strategy. I walk away from the girl, looking for the artists. There are a lot of people around me. It’s like a house party. She follows behind me. I see my friends, she is behind me. I make some mention of Kevin so that she’ll know I am not single.

Wake: This dream brings to mind the book I just finished: Brida, by Coelho. There is a pagan sabbath. It’s a huge party. Everyone must enjoy themselves so that the energy is very positive and uplifted, and in the midst of this is a spiritual initiation. This is a different attitude about art/spirituality for me. I am a little too serious perhaps. To bring the spirit into a party atmosphere is certainly an idea to explore.
Yesterday I took Red Root (Ceanothus) for the first time. Ceanothus is good for stagnant lymph and spleen, clearing meridians and melancholy–ie lack of creative inspiration, inability to think one’s way out of a problem. I took it because of a dream. Before sleeping, a couple weeks ago, I asked what would help balance the energy in my body, because my left side is deficient (signs of health weakness appear on my left side for the most part).

Dream: I am at a fair, similar to a craft fair. There is lots to see and lots of people around. I go up to a shaman who doesn’t have much on his table, just a few fliers. He tells me to take Red Root. I say, “oh, like oregon grape?” (for some reason they are filed together in my mind). He smiles at me and says, “Red root.” He seems very nice. I step back and head to the next table, only to realize that I need to go back to the end of a long line. There wasn’t much of a line for him, but for the crafts, the lines are very long.

Wake: In the book Brida has to over come some of her fears and hang ups. I was walking along thinking about the book and somehow I got to thinking about my name and how girly it is. I don’t feel girly. I more girly now than I ever have been, but still feel masculine and distant in many ways. “Lily”–what was my mother thinking? But then I thought, what if I really am girly? Kevin always calls me “the cutest girl in the world,” but I have a hard time seeing things from his perspective. I realize that I really shy away from that energy as a way of protecting myself. That means shying away from my left/female side.

It took a while for me to get my hands on the red root. Then, I ended up with three bottles, due to mysterious order mix ups. Cosmic or coincidence–whoknows? In this dream my friends make art come out of the dank dark places and show me how to get in touch with “the cutest girl in the world”. I woke up feeling totally inspired for the first time in ages. Some seriousness has lifted too–I think I forgot that you can’t think your way through art, you have to go for it. So, thank you ceanothus, I very much look forward to knowing you better.

Dream: I am in a university type place. It has a campusy-feel, with trees and paths, old buildings and some people about. That is all in the background. A man holds my shoulders and points me in the direction North. My eyes close, I feel the energy come through me. The energy moves my head to the side and as it does I see that he has held a small quartz point in front of my third eye.

He holds my shoulders and points me East: I see the sun right before me over a green crest. I feel the energy move through me.

Again he moves me by my shoulders, this time pointing me West: I look and it doesn’t make sense. Based on the way the sun was looking East, and where the mountain was, this really shouldn’t be West. I run back towards the university, to my point of reference, to try and figure out West.

He does not like this. I can’t see him while I run, but I can feel him. He is a stern man, not without a sense of humor, but not one to go against–he is to be respected. I see that the sun is directly above me. Realizing I am not totally aware of the time and place, I go back. Again he is with me and points me to the West. He says, “I just wanted you to get a feel for the terminology.” Immediately and so strongly I feel the water energy. I see a snake like river stretch out before me. It actually is to my side and then hidden by a hill and then continues in front of me. I feel the river as one gigantic entity, as myself. I feel it is not just the water, but the current of the entire river. One energy force as it curves back and forth. It is my body and not only that, but also I feel the ripples of light dancing just above my physical body. It is very pleasurable to have the Sun be in my energy in this way. It is the play of light on the surface of the river.

The Energy of the River is so strong and sweet that I sway backwards. At first he rights me, but then he guides me to the ground, and I can just be with the space.

Some people come up on this little off the sidewalk dirt path that I am on with the man. I am coming back to the moment, but not quite there. He holds my shoulders as I sit up. He says to them, “Shhh… she’s taken some plant IV.” I start to argue, “No, I haven’t taken anything.” He doesn’t like to be argued with. He fights me, (I am a young sandy haired nerdy man at this point). He fights me, and creams me, like any good video-game fight, it hurts just that much too, i.e. not at all, but I do see that I should not argue with him.

He leaves, and I hear the sweetest chants to Anandi Ma. I am sitting on the ground, as myself again. I get up to walk with my friends a bit. I want to walk a little further and see if there is a house here that I could have, I would love to live here. We see a house that is small. Better suited for mail or birds perhaps. We go a bit further and we see a house. Ugh, it is that same house that we had seen at another time, the huge one that costs way too much for anyone. The people who live there a rich and settled, but also welcoming.

*****

During the night I had a couple other dreams that seem related, one where I ate a chunk of the airy crustiness of the quartz crystal that I sleep with. Another where I was talking about Dr. Lu, and thinking about the herbs, and telling my friend about how my thyroid could be well in only a couple months.

Wake:

In my last elements dream, Calea Zacatechichi-dream said that connecting with the elements would bring wellness. It seems there is a lot of support to my becoming well. This dream brings back the energy of Calea. This man is like no one I know. While the man’s energy does not seem exactly like the energy of the plant in the previous dream, it is obvious that it is the same work continuing.  It may be the plant spirit revisiting. He is helping yet, also, perhaps saying, “why haven’t you been working with the elements?” I am so grateful for his visit. While I have intended to begin working with the elements again since the first dream, alas time flies, and I have done little. I have been a little more attentive to the Earth, as that was the element not in the last dream. In this dream I don’t remember South/Fire. Water is my strongest element. I love the River/Water/West. I love the man in my dream–thank you so much for your help!

I think that this dream says, stay away from the intellectual (university) understanding of the elements, just feel the terminology (i.e. feel what North, East, South and West means). I am good at that, good at feeling. But feeling takes time, and you can’t really make a plan to feel. So that is my hang up. I need to just feel and let it go through me. Have confidence that the feelings will be there as soon as I open myself up to them. I hope to work more with Calea Cheech and the elements. Maybe I will do a little planting today, invite the physical form of Calea into my space.

Also the dream man leaves me with the sounds of my Guru. This is another way to healing, to be in the meditative space and with Her guidance. And, finally, I realize that I have been trying not to sleep too long, so instead I am a bit tired and don’t have my awesome dreams those nights. So, I think I will sleep until I am ready to wake, meditate, and feel the elements. Sounds very nurturing.

I had my hands on some dream herb (Calea Zacatechichi) for some time now. Since my dreams usually come so readily I have never thought to take it for its dream enhancing effects. However, my mind was stuck on this seemingly nonbudging problem of my thyroid imbalance. So I decided to take the herb before bed and asked “why am I sick and what I can do to become healthy again?” I later discovered that this is one of the traditional uses of the herb–to discover the cause of illness.

I took the plant about an hour and a half before bed (by capsule). When I laid down to sleep I noticed changes as I grew drowsy more quickly. It was as though my thoughts took flight. Indeed, before I fell asleep I started floating up to fly in one of my thoughts. I fell asleep and woke again around 5 in the morning. At that time I didn’t recall any special dreams. I was a little bummed out. I fell back asleep and had the following dreams:

Dreams:

1. I am being led by hand into the back yard of my friend Dee’s house. This journey feels like a mystery or a scary novel. It is daytime. There have been a lot of improvements to the outside. There is now a very large ornate deck, made with high quality materials, where there was none before. I can see that the varnish is peeling from the columns already. I am told that it is burning from inside out from acid. This house is my body.

I will eat some kind of spiced jelly. It looks like watery aloe jell with some spice. I will drink two and two-thirds of my jelly jars each day.

2. I am in a house that reminds me of my grandmother’s. Instead of a two flat in Chicago, it is an equally classy ranch in the suburbs of Chicago–on a fairly busy street. I am in a room working with a couple people–a man(/woman) and a younger girl (teenager). These are possibly myself. The man sits like my father, but is a gentle healer reminding me of my former naturopath. The girl may be a younger version of myself. They do not talk. I know what I am to do.

We are working on the elements/directions. I stand and face the West. Rather than saying what I have read in books, I dig deep inside to find its meaning. This meaning comes out of the core of my body.

West: “The place of cancer (the astrological sign), water, dreams, my family, my youth, my sense of vulnerability.” I see the tender pink and white flesh or the crab, that is found within its shell.

I turn and face the South.

South: I don’t really say anything, I just feel. Intense, overwhelming heat, fire, burning, washed out coral colors, hot, sandy space, dynamism. The heat’s intensity is almost frightful in its potency. The space reminds me of the New Mexico landscape.

I turn to face the busy street–the East.

East: The noises from the cars and wind make it nearly impossible to communicate–it is almost like a Chicago street now. Now I am outside facing the street. It is so windy. I compose my thoughts, ‘What am I on? Oh, East…’ I call out its characteristics as I see them: “Aries, wind, the mind–very clear thought, illumination.” Try not to think of the element and what I have heard of it, but instead feel. I realize that I had a dream where I flew across this same street in this direction. I flew so fast and clearly. As I remember I do it again (fly across) only faster. Or is it a very vivid memory? The cars and wind are so loud, they surround my head, my existence. I go back inside. They can’t have heard me, with all the noise, so I repeat: “I had a dream of flying across this street–I didn’t realize I was flying East in the dream.” I believe they already knew and did not need to hear or have me repeat. I continue: “East: very clear mentality–flight.”

Wake: I reflect on the dream and realize I don’t remember doing North/Earth–but must stay awake and write down this answer.

Wow, this dream was extremely clear and intense. I clearly felt the plant’s strong energy with me. The dream was shamanic and unlike other dreams I have had. I continued to have related information coming to me for about an hour after waking. It came through very clearly. Perhaps the plant facilitates subtle communication.

Both dreams contained versions of childhood houses that I associate with great happiness. The home symbolizes my body. This body which I have affection for–what does it need and how can I offer that?

The acid: this validated my thought that though my thyroid is low now, it was in the past high, and characterized my excess heat and energy. I believe that the low thyroid is only a result of too much fire for too long. So in order to address this, I need to address the original overheating, not so much the current cold. I will have to look into the drink, and how this will manifest in the waking time.

The elements: Amazing. Before I moved to Portland (about a year ago) I was working on the elements/directions with some friends and feeling very benefited by the process. It is something that I missed a lot when I moved. I will begin to work on this again. Starting with my friend and body, the Earth/North.

Much respect and gratitude to Calea Zacatechichi.

Before I went to sleep I asked the crystal to show me a more gentle way of working with it. I also asked for it to share with me more about how it works and how it makes people lighter (as it did in my last dream).
Dream: I am helping dead people. They are dead people who don’t know they are dead yet, or perhaps they have a strong suspicion but they know that if they admit it, they will be giving up even the illusion of their body. I am given an assignment, which is a picture of the person (how they appear energetically) and what I am to do for them. With each person (assignment) the idea is basically the same. They come to me, we interact, during the interaction I bring them to their happiest memories, while they are in this state of happiness I somehow facilitate their leaving their body. At that point they have totally released their physical body and it is a much better state for the soul to be in.

This process helps many people.

One assignment is for a man–his picture is of an albino deer with a mouth and eyes that close and open like a fish’s mouth. He reminds me of a peacock that I have seen. When I see him “in the flesh” he is more man-looking, but with pale blue green peacock feathers, these grow out of him and he plays with them nervously. He avoids me, even while he stands in front of me. He leaves without our interaction taking place.

I go on to my next assignment which involves taking the woman back to the happiness that came during the ultrasound of her pregnant belly. Before this happens, I see the man again. He is still avoiding me, although this time I see him as he appeared while human. He is skinny, with a thin frame and short dark blond hair. He wears a zip jacket and pants. He was a scientist. He is young. I talk to him about how if we do our thing together then he will be able to go to the meeting. (He is standing outside the room where the meeting is being held, as though he wants to go in. Several people are entering the room.) He says “If I do that then I will really be dead.”

Wake:

This dream left me feeling very good, even though “assistance from the body” wasn’t able to happen for the last guy. It seems very weird to say I did anything to help people let go. It just seemed like I was there for another force to work through. Something very subtle.

Perhaps the crystal can be used to help in the process of death, to lighten souls and return them to their unformed state. I think this dream also was informed by a conversation I had with Kevin yesterday about the heart as a reality generating device.

We’ve had many discussions about the mind as a reality generating device, i.e. lucid dreaming while waking and asleep–imagine it to be so and it will be way more likely to happen. Kevin had heard something about how you can imagine that the thing you manifest has already happened, visualize this, but then feel how you would in that reality. According to his source, the heart-mind working together has more success than just the mind.

In the dream the heart was the way to release people from their fear of death/loosing the body. When people die in our country is their a lack of care for the heart? It seems so cold when people die in the hospital, but who am I to say. The man in the dream reminds me of a patient I worked with last time I was at the hospital. He was young and so sick, and had been sick for most of his life. He seemed very distant from his heart. In the dream it is almost as though the man says “If I feel what it feels to be really alive, then I will really die.”

In the hospital I often try to figure out what makes people happy (i.e. kids, hobbies) to distract them from what I am doing, (which they usually do not like, but have to deal with). With this man, I was unable to connect, he was so sick and so withdrawn from his body. I wasn’t worried about not connecting when I left the room, but I was concerned for him. I see so many people everyday–this has been a gift that has taught me how very differently people deal with the stress of illness. I often find our medical system to be strange. I am much more a fan of natural medicine, heart centered approaches, and empowering the patient. These seem deficient in our hospitals, but every unique person that works at the hospital has the opportunity to bring these things to the patient. Perhaps working with the crystal has helped me and could help me to do more in this area.

Dream:

I look at some big maps. The are of the atlas variety. The first one that I am shown is a country near India, or Europe. In the empty/negative space around the country, there is text book type information. I don’t read it yet. But, I know that this is a map of a particularly potent place on Earth. I am excited to look at other places. There are maps of every place. I think about Iowa City, where I was born, maybe that is cool. I look at the map but there is nothing special about it. I pick up two more maps of potent places. One is a country near Puru (Bolivia?) and one is an uninhabited land like Antarctica, only at the top (N. Pole).

This information, these tomes, come from the mouth of a stone oven, which is a library. Dileepji led me here, I was hoping that he would come back again to help me out some more. There is a tall thin man, who lives in the oven. He walks around hunched over, it is only about 4-5 feet tall. He brings things out for me and goes back into other stone rooms, to get things for me from the stacks.

Wake:

I want to explore these areas more and read the text that comes with them. Are they places on Earth, or perhaps, in Earth. I was thinking a lot about Hollow Earth theories, due to too much Lost, before sleep. What are these places? Are they maps of entry points, or the places themselves? What are there properties? This brought me back to my current map project. Time to get back to work on it.

Dream:

In some dark building. I look at a bunch of people. They are sitting with their blankets. One is made of two buffalo hides sewn together in the middle to form a rectangle. This blanket is dirty and there is no energy in it. It is a sad blanket. I am instructed to take it to a powerful place and put the energy back in it. I think this means a place in nature, but once I get outside I am guided up the outside metal staircase, to the roof of a five or six story building. This building is among the trees, it seems like an old hospital or maybe a office or apartment building. This was the building I was just in. There are people milling about around the building. I sit on the side of the roof opposite the stairs. I hold my hands above the blanket and let the energy fill the blanket. I think that maybe it is so low energy because it was made by killing without respect.

Soon the blanket is full of energy and I have a vision of a buffalo surrounded by vivid green grass. I feel joyful, the buffalo seems joyful. We communicate, in a way where my spirit body communicates but my mind doesn’t really understand. My body moves as this happens. People are walking around on the roof near me–they see what I’m doing, but don’t seem to mind.

I am told this is my gift. (Putting energy in and feeling/communicating.)

Wake:

It seems the buffalo’s death can be made better by the energy interaction, even so long after his death. It seems like this thing I love so much–communicating through energy with plants, rocks, and animals, can go further than I thought. In my waking time, I am starting to see how my interactions, that help me so much, also give love and help to the beings I communicate with.

This was a perfect dream for Thanksgiving. The buffalo symbolizes manifesting abundance through right action and right prayer. Buffalo is also about gratitude and groundedness. I am learning how setting the right gentle intention for crystal work, plant work, work with relatives, etc can very much change the type of experience you would have. Approach with gentleness and love, receive gentleness and love. Also, expressing thanks for all the abundance that is in my life. So beautiful, so often!

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I like everyone joining together to remember what they have to be thankful for. It can also be hard for me as a vegetarian. Seeing all the meat is upsetting. The last couple Thanksgivings I have been to, it seemed like people were having trouble thinking of what they had to be thankful for. Buffalo spirit made me feel that by honoring the food/meat and recognizing all that we have to be thankful for things can be made better–nature can feel the respect due. It is so important to be grateful for the food that we are given.

As we head into the winter the Bison is a symbol of strength, using its large head to push aside snow and eat the green grass underneath. Slowly moving along the easiest path, appreciating the natural flow of an unhurried life.

Thank you to Bison/Buffalo and to my crystal wand that has been helping my sleep and dreams the last few days.

Wake:

I go to sleep holding my seed crystal in my hand. Luc Bourgault recommends this practice when beginning to work with quartz. He says not to worry if you let go of the crystal, because it instinctively knows where to go to do the work needed. Then clear your crystal in salted water in the morning (see his instructions).

I wake up twice to find the crystal resting on my belly. I want to remember this because I know the crystal is working. I dream I am telling someone about it. She explains that the crystal talks to the area. I tell her it was pointed towards the area that needed help. She says, “Actually, it is pointed away from that area, to take the energy out. It only takes about 10 minutes.”

Throughout the night, my dreams are so much clearer, I feel mixed up with the clear quartz energy. I look forward to continuing sleep work with the crystal. Thank you crystal!

Dreams

1. I go back to dance class. I’m really happy to be there and see my old dance teacher and some of the people I used to take class with. The colors are all browns. The only thing that is missing is the jumping, we are not doing any jumping in this class. How I love to jump. I get graded on all different aspects of my current dancing. Everyone else is graded too. I worry that my performance isn’t so good anymore. I get an “A”, “as always, lily” on my performance. I dance some more and am so happy. When people aren’t looking I try and do some of the flying I used to do. I do fly a little. The tricks I used in dream time are working now, while I’m awake! Yeah!!!

2. I go to camp, Joan (my boss) tells me to take the Oregon test. Erica will drive me there, she is taking the other test (the Washington test?). This test-taking is something you are normally supposed to prepare for–oh, well! At camp it turns out that you can stay longer. I do and my home is not a cabin, but a cardboard box–that’s what happens when you stay longer, but it doesn’t matter at all it is beautiful and great. I see another guy who’s stayed longer as well, he walks by me as I lay under my box, cuddled up against the grassy earth, comforted by the amazing blue sky that has just the right amount of clouds. I can’t see the coast from where I’m laying–I’m hours in from the water. When I look from above I can see the island, it is so beautiful, and I can see down to the bottom, how just the green top is shown to us, but how the sides go down to the bottom of the ocean. Birds fly above me–groups of birds–several kinds flying together. They are close, maybe I can identify some of them. I am so happy. I love being in nature again. Everywhere is green and fertile, very pleasant.

Waking, a couple patterns I’ve been noticing:

First of all, since before I took my first yoga class at my new yoga place, I’ve been having a “back to dance class-joy” dream the night before my next class. I did dance for about a dozen years, and have really been missing it lately. All the classes that I’ve been taking at Root Whole Body have a lot of movement in them–vinyasa, nia, and even pilates. Which I didn’t really know ahead of time. I am particularly liking the Nia stuff. Each time I have a dance dream (the night before class) it is very related to what happens in class. In this case the class I took (Vinyasa) was a particularly awesome movement class, alas there was no jumping, and I really felt that. It so could have been dance class, if we had just had some jumping! I am on the lookout for adult dance classes in Portland. Or, the night before I first stopped into Roots to check it out: I dreamt that I went to a yoga class where people were doing yoga-ish dance. It seemed cool and interesting. Then I go to Roots the next day, and they say: “We don’t just have yoga, we also have Nia–it’s kind of a mixture of dance and yoga.” Tee hee.

Secondly, these particular dreams happened the night following a galactic activation portal. Galactic activation portals are an aspect of the Mayan calendar–these are times when it is easier to download information from higher sources, i.e. otherworldly information, psychic connections. I would think that I would have crazier dreams during the actual day, but instead I keep having awesome dreams the night following the portal day. Perhaps this is me synthesizing the information/energy that has come during the g. a. p. day. For more information on this stuff, check out: Planet Art Network.

Dream:

Hanging out with three friends. One is an herbalist, one is Martin Crane from Frasier. We get on an airplane wing, sitting two-by-two, take liquid pharmaceuticals and then ride into the evening. I keep my left leg from dangling by putting it up by the herbalist. The first time I have my shoes on and he can handle it. The second time, I have by socks off and he can’t take it–he really doesn’t like bacteria. This is quite a surprise, he seems like such an earthy guy. We all talk a lot. Later we’re in a living room and I ask Martin when he became afraid of water, meaning dreams. He’s behind a bookcase grabbing something and he doesn’t hear. Still, I like talking about dreams.

Wake: So, I am taking an herb class with 2 others and the teacher. I like it very much. Before bed, I asked brown bear and seed crystal where I should best direct my energy. Then I find myself with the herb group :). When I woke up Kevin said that I had been having an in depth conversation in my sleep–but he couldn’t remember the details. I wonder about what makes dreams different that one ends up talking out loud, and clearly or unclearly.