I have published Dreamtime Pamphlet vol. 3: A Pocket Guide to Inner Time and Space. It is available in my etsy shop. The booklet gives varied ideas and exercises for getting more in touch with time and space on a personal and bodily level. I hope you like it.
I also just added some blank dream journals that I have been working on. I bound the books, printed the titling with letterpress, and collaged the covers with dream imagery.
Dream: I keep turning, facing the different directions. East South West North…I face them and feel their domain: Air, Fire, Water, Earth. I find a brown satchel and open it. It has wands in it. There are three groups. The top row is one of the groups, I look at the two groups that make up the bottom row. One group of wands is made from seems to be made from vegetables, some are withered from drying out. The other group of wands are made from the woods of two different plants each. Underneath this set, it says “for herbalist/healers”. One of these wands is part Agrimony and part friend. Funny, I didn’t remember agrimony having a woody part. I start making my own wands on these models. I wonder how exactly I will be able to make the two woods join seamlessly.
Wake: Agrimony makes me think of work issues.* It seems like most people I work with are frustrated with their jobs, me too. I took some agrimony flower essence and kept the bottle in my pocket all day at work. Things seemed to go better, and there was more friendliness too.
Dream: I am thinking about the directions. I am in the summer of my life. When I die I hope it will be like falling asleep, where I feel my senses peeling back from the blackness and inner peace. I remember that feeling. I hope that it is peaceful.
Wake: I was so exhausted last night, I could hardly think. I was aware as I fell asleep. That familiar feeling of letting go, where the senses become dimmer and the quiet and stillness envelope. When you are aware of that moment you have to make the choice to let go. Letting go of control and awareness. It is such a precious transition. It reminds me of death. In the dream I remembered the exact feeling of falling into asleep.
East Air Spring Youth
South Fire Summer Adulthood
West Water Autumn Aging
North Earth Winter Death
—————-
*Incidently the dream job I got this summer did not work out. Within a couple weeks it was obvious that I was in a difficult situation. It seemed so weird that it wouldn’t work out, after all the dreams. But within a couple months I quit and went back to my old job, where they were happy to have me. I was perplexed by this for a long time. Finally I had a dream about it. The dream showed that, while it looked like a spell that brought the job, it was just a coincidence that the agrimony,etc happened at the same time that I got that job. This made me feel less confused, but I am still working through all my employment issues, etc.
Sat facing each direction in meditation to get to know them better.
North-Brought me down to the ground. Getting serious, practical concerns. Ego.
East-Blue. Feels clear. Want to get out to the countryside and be there, away from city noise.
South-Surprise! I was afraid fire would be dangerous, but it’s light. Happiness, levity, enjoying myself. “Learn from nature”. Inspired.
West-Blue. Fluid and dreamy. Fantasy.
Afterwards: Grounded and peaceful, and better acquainted!
Last night I had a nightmare. Actually it was a great dream that just happened to have a nightmarish overtone, few of us truly enjoy the threat of imminent danger. I really liked the dream because I did lots of flying. I flew up and down, I flew to the sea, and then along a tree lined streets. I touched my toes down on the tiny branches here and there, leaping gently to the next tree. I felt light as a feather and connected to the air element. Unfortunately there was a nasty man following me, and he also could fly. He caught up with me after a bit and then I was in his captivity for a while. Then I chop somebody up. I escape, carrying the pieces of his body in a yellow pages bag, since I don’t know what else to do with the remains. I look at a map and plan my trip down the east coast and back to New Mexico, that I will be taking in my dream trailer. Okay, the parts I liked were the sea, chase/flight, map and dream trailer–I guess I can deal with a little murder if I can have that kind of stuff too.
None of that really matters, the important thing about this dream it that it reminded me of my friend Rachel. She was in town last week and she asked me about nightmares, if I had them, and what you could do about them. So here are some ideas and techniques related to nightmares:
1. Often it is easier to realize that we are dreaming when we are in nightmare. We’ve been down this road many times before, it’s that same old feeling of running very slowly, or falling, etc. This is an excellent opportunity to switch into lucid dreaming. Quickly think of anything that you’d rather be doing and do it, or alter the situation somehow, so that you are not terrified. Maybe you could turn knives into roses, or maybe you will just come to a stand still and repeat mantras, or connect with your favorite version of the higher power how ever you like. This can be difficult when you are having a nightmare. Sometimes the best thing to do is just wake yourself up as soon as you have an inkling you may be dreaming.
2. Nightmares can arise from being too hot. If you wake up from a nightmare and are overheated, take off a blanket, but also try sleeping on your back. Sleeping on your back is very helpful with heat nightmares, it is not a 100% guarantee against nightmares, but it very often will do the trick, try it if you are worried about slipping back into the nightmare.
3. Confront your demons. Try this when you’re dreaming if you are able to. If not then try it sometime during the waking time. Get yourself into a quiet, meditative space, close your eyes and go back into the dream. Visualize yourself in the dream as the events unfold in your memory, this time, instead of running away from your demons, turn around and face them. What happens?
For a while I kept dreaming of being chased under water by a big scary dog. When I turned and faced him in meditation he turned out to just have rough edges–really he was pretty nice dog. See what happens with you, maybe your demon has some qualities that you could use. Are they stronger or tougher than you? Maybe if you make friends with your demon you can assimilate some of their good qualities just like you would with a friend in the waking time.
Here’s a link that has some suggestions for dealing with nightmares:
http://www.mothernature.com/library/bookshelf/books/21/163.cfm
Dream: I’m kneeling on a small side porch with another lady. The wood is golden and the yard is full and green. A young boy lays before me. He has died. A man walks up to us, we tell he has died. Just as we say this he comes to.
Inside the house is as large as the porch is small. There are wood beams made from the same golden wood. The boy is running around inside now.
There are huge room dividers–8′ to 10′ tall and 10′ to 12′ wide–they are wooden frames with many windows that have glass blocks hanging in them. The dividers are on wheels and the blocks swing when they are moved. There is one with colored glass (purples and reds) and one with clear glass with different textures–like swimming pool glass bricks. I move them because they are meant to be moved and am surprised when the wall doesn’t fall over. I had a feeling it was going to fall over. The boy moves the same wall back towards me a bit, but he is rough and it does fall over. I note that this was what I had thought would happen.
I walk outside now. It is more shadowy and woodsy now, feels like fall.
One of three witches comes up to me–she asks me to join them, smiling. I had been looking for that, but now I am with the people at the house. I glance back in that direction. They aren’t focusing our energy together as the witches would, but we work well together. I am happy with them now.
She says again that they’d like me to join them, but I have to give up my asshole. They all have, she says, they’ve had asshole-ectomies, if you will, and are no worse for it.
Several questions/thoughts come to mind:
a.) Give up my asshole–wtf?
b.) Isn’t it a little hard to hold your shit in without an anal sphincter?
“We’re all free flowing with our shit,” and raises her arms and shakes her hips softly side to side as she says this.
c.) I wonder if they are really talking about my butt tension (I have a tendency to hold tension there), because of the way she shook her hips gently as she said that–so relaxed!
(All the witches have round hips and butts, a little plump, but it is clear (somehow), even through their skirts, that they have no assholes.)
d.) “What do you do?” I ask.
They say together that they have a river that runs through their house. “We get our answers there, but not just that–we get our answers everywhere,” they say, and smile together. I can see the river that runs through their house in my minds eye. It is filled with clean rolls of toilet paper and paper towels.
e.) Clean toilet paper rolls in the water–a little perplexing…is this what our processed water is these days?
f.) I totally relate to “getting the visions anywhere”, and this makes me happy to hear it from them.
g.) The cabin, a little dark wood sided thing, that stands behind them, is up off the ground a couple feet, reminds me of the trailer to be.
h.) I have to think about whether I want to get rid of my asshole at this point–the idea is a little confusing to me.
I walk away with my hands in my front pockets.
A woman comes up to me directly. She asks for help with a personal problem she is having. The light here is sunnier and warm. I start to guide her to the place where we will talk. (I think of the crystal and wish that I had it with me to help see.) Before we get there, she says “this is all I see and shows me an image of a muddy pool with something at the bottom. I say, “This is all you see?” It seems like a lot to me.
I dive into the pool. In the backgound I hear the witches, a bit jealous, wishing they could do what I was doing right now–seeing into the dream water. The crystal is with me, without out being in my hand. The water is clearer underneath the surface. I swim down to the broken car at the bottom. There are several male barbies tied to the wreckage with a rope. (I see people as barbies often in this dreamspace–the dreamspace of others). I don’t know if the man that has been physically hurting her is dead with, or has killed these people, but I know he is no longer an issue to her. I swim up and tell her that she is safe now.
Wake: I’d been having some nightmares and trouble sleeping the last couple nights. So, before going to bed, I thought about my dream skills, and pictured myself in the middle of the directions/elements, and feeling their energy. I wasn’t even really thinking about it being the fall equinox, because I always think of it as on the 23rd of Sept, my birthday, as it was the year I was born.
This dream is full of exciting stuff. The young boy dies–is this the first half of the year coming to a close? Aries, the young boy/mars energy pretending to pass away–but still making mischief–while the female, venus energy is more dominant?
The witches seem like the other corners of the compass. I had been looking for them, but had forgotten.
The dream trailer pops up twice. I am reminded of it in the witches cabin, and it is the place that I would lead the woman who asks for my help to.
This dream was such an exciting dream to have the morning of my birthday. Fall is the time of the West–the setting sun–also in line with dreams, crystals, visions, water and emotions.
Asshole: Well, this one was a little confusing to me. I talked with Kevin and I think he was spot-on, when he suggested that this had to do with the root lock. The root lock is a certain way to tightening the anal sphincter that pushes the spiritual energy upwards. Or, to say that my spiritual path, which is all about sending the energy upwards, would need to be relaxed to allow both directions of energy flow. By letting this go, the energy is able to freely flow in and out through both the top of the head (crown) and root chakras. This would seem to allow for channeling to happen without the energy “sticking” to you–or holding on to the energy/information coming from outside. Also, it can be more easily grounding–which would be helpful in working with healing, like with the woman in the dream.
Well, what can I say, it’s been an interesting Summer so far–actually feeling like Summer, now that it is winding up. Went to the ocean the other day–freaking awesome. My friend and I were on a camping trip and we ended up at a not-so-exciting camp site, but quite near the ocean. When we got to the ocean, it was warm enough to swim in–unusual for Oregon–and very secluded–not seeing other people and town, etc. The swimming was lovely, and the Ocean herself was truly awesome. Some pelicans swooped down to feed near us–so big and amazing. It was the best trip to the beach I have ever had, followed up by an evening of campfire, good company, and packaged Indian food–what more could I ask for?
This is quite interesting–from the BBC, about how larger mammals align with the directions.
On another note, Terry is looking a little dismal right now. Pictures soon, when looking even more dismal. Terry has been neglected for so long, :(. I’m not sure if he’s happy that we are undressing him, or if just annoyed that we interrupted his process of disintegration. Right now he’s stretching his dirty armpits, enjoying some air, soon to be cleaned up.
Dream:
I go to see a moose, but the moose is laying on the ground–dead. I am supposed to be zen about this. I don’t react externally, but I wonder why it is that I am to see this dead moose. In fact I think it is the second time I have been brought here to see this. The first time was a bear.
Wake:
Moose is one of the members of the deer family that I am working with for my video project. Moose is late fall/early winter, an unusual animal, having self-esteem and self-respect–returns to water. Bear is also a bit watery, working in the realm of dreams, crystals and berries/herbs. Waking from the moose dream I was reminded of the buffalo dream I had a while ago about a bringing the life back into a buffalo hide, maybe that is a way to deal with this type of dream encounter.
This last month has been full of amazing, wonderful happenings: getting married, hanging out with the deer on our honeymoon, and, before all that, facing one of my biggest fears: getting too hot.
I went to a sweat lodge for women at Breitenbush. Actually, this started when I was playing the Game of Real Life (which I highly recommend), and people were surprised that I would rather take a walk on a Fall day than face my fears. I started to wonder about this myself, so when this sweat lodge opportunity came up, I decided to go for it.
The morning of the sweat, I woke up from a dream where there was water and phlegm and tears pouring out of my face and this was good because there had been some stuff blocking my throat and this was releasing it. On waking this dream seemed so very unrealistic, never would that much fluid be coming out of my body in waking time. Ha! That was pretty much exactly how the sweat was–instant fluid expulsion–in a good, unfightable way.
The lodge was made out of sticks and wool blankets. We crawled into the tent like we were returning to the womb. The elements were honored throughout the ceremony. For about two hours water was poured on rocks that were glowing with heat.
During the first five minutes I was pretty sure that death was a realistic possibility when faced with this much heat. Frequently I was not sure whether it would actually be safe to breath. But, actually I survived!!! During the sweat there were times when the doors were opened and I got chilly and actually wanted to heat up again.
At one point during the ceremony the women all spoke their prayers for the day and it was clear that everyone was going through a lot of tough stuff in their lives. Afterwards, when we came out, I could see the energy going up the central path (spine-ish) in the women, and could see how strong these women were despite their struggles, or perhaps because of what they were facing.
Another thing that happened during the sweat was seeing brown bear, (adult this time), and brown bear swiping at my face with his big paws, as if to wake me up (like in this dream).
It is time to wake up from the dream I am in.
I’ll get back to you on that.
Dream:
Part A (1/24/08): I am going to show my video to some people for a critique. This will be the only critique I receive for this video. The auditorium is black and gray, it is dirty and, surprisingly, no one has arrived yet. I watch my film on the big screen. The film is low quality black and white with images of people and things (nature–the ground, a face), it reminds me of an old French film. I have told a story over the top. My dreams are with my slow and soothing dream voice, but my voice is higher and lighter as I begin to talk about “when I pray…”.
Some people come into the auditorium, including my mother. I set up the film for them to watch. I get distracted by them and start to talk with my mother about the film. She tries on the ornate wedding dress I made while we talk. She says, “So, there are four parts/subjects, and four _____. 4 x 4 x 4 it seems.” “Four interviews,” I think. I let go of the dress-up session and turn back to watch the film again.
Part B (6/6/8): I’m walking through a forest with a friend. I see that the forest has the same glowing white furry chest as the deer. It seems odd at first, that the forest has a furry chest. I am told that this white furry chest is about integrity, then I think, “why shouldn’t the forest have the same chest–it makes total sense.”
There are four animals, four legs, four seasons, and four stories. The deer, elk, moose. They are the stories of being a woman, and each one has a gun they can kill you with.
I find myself as a young girl, about eight years old. I am facing a moose, the moose has the same glowing white chest. The moose faces me, even though the moose is not the animal for a child. Because this is not the time for me to see the moose I wonder why the moose has not killed me, but here I am. And here is the moose, the moose is calm and confident and proud, in a healthy way. The moose is very peaceful with me, just eating grass in front of me. I am so alive, standing here with the moose.
Later (C): (I wonder about the gun) “It is about energy and time.”
……..
Wake: I had the first part of this dream in the winter, and I knew that I wanted to create this video in waking time. In part A one interview was with a deer and the other may have been with the Earth. The second part happened just before I left for a trip to Orcas Island where there many, many deer. In between I had many dreams working with Calea Zacatechichi about healing through the elements. Here are somethings that are coming together:
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter
Deer, Elk, Moose
Maiden, Mother, Crone
Air, Fire, Water, Earth
East, South, West, North
Above is a deer from the island. I’ve been missing the deer so much since I moved to the city. Seeing them (everywhere) on the island was like finding water in the desert, very healing.
Here is an interesting astrology article about working with your North/grounding.
Situations often arise in waking and in dreamtime where it is unclear whether we are awake or asleep. Often in my dreams I think I am awake, only to find that I am asleep.
In my recent dream, I was thinking of the world as being an illusion, and therefore dreamlike, but did not realize I was actually in a dream. I am sure that just as many times, in the waking dream, I pull the same tricks on myself. Many times we can step back from our myopic view of a situation enough to realize that we are co-creating the drama of the situation. For example: I see myself starting to get angry, rather than getting caught in the drama, I may use distraction if I am by myself, or with the other person if there is someone else involved.
Preventing drama escalation is very helpful, but this is only a little clarity/objectivity. How do we know when we are really lucid? How do we enhance our lucidity?
Sit down and meditate. If it seems like you can’t sit down, or even close you eyes, pull all of your energy inwards, focus your energy to the point between your brows, and breath. Can you let you mind be quiet? Can you act from a quiet place? Then you are lucid.
“Who can wait quietly while the mud
settles?
Who can remain still until the moment
of action?”
-Tao Te Ching, #15, Trans. Gia Fu Feng & Jane English
Here are your friends, the four winds, the directions, the elements…know them, but hold fast to the center.
