fly awake

Here are two dreams from this week from opposite ends of the spectrum. In the end they are both positive, which underlines the importance of how we react to situations.

7/3/10–Dream

I am at the crossroads near our house. I have been thinking about how Shannon and I have been looking for a quiet place to meet, a park or green. We have looked for a long time and found little. Now I see, it is right here. The crossroads are filled with lush green grass that is about a foot high. A bird with a long white neck–a swan?–is moving through the grass.

A car comes through the intersection, it is very loud and I worry about the bird’s safety. After the car passes the bird is still there, but there is still noise–coming from the man hole, I think. I see the bird bobbing about. Another car comes and goes. The bird is across the intersection now. It rises to standing position and I see it has a smaller grayish white body–maybe it is an egret. The bird has a crystal pendent hanging around its neck on a very long chain. As she stands, she turns into a beautiful woman with long curly brown hair. She is wearing a simple dress. She has a very feminine body, but thin rather than round. She crosses the street to me–walking through the grass slowly. I am in awe of her presence and beauty. She is holding the ends of the chain with her arms spread wide as if to present the necklace to me. As she comes close I open my hands up to receive all she has to offer (not the necklace–I want to receive her), and say, “what can I learn from you?” I want her to know that I am receptive and show her my awe. When she’s only a couple feet away my eyes close in response to her energy. I don’t actually feel the necklace going on. I feel her vibrations strongly for a bit, then I begin to see pictures. I see little metal containers, about the size of lighters. They are handmade with different symbols on them. Inside are sets of tiny vials filled with liquids. Now I am in the living room/our future shop space. There are tiny white shelves mounted on the walls. Each one has one of the little metal boxes on it. This is a great idea for oils. Someone is hanging out and reading in the front room. There are some lavender and pink piles that need to be sorted out. We have to leave to do some errands. I tell the woman we are not really open for business yet (it’ll be a couple months), and we set out.

Wake: I loved this dream. I felt so blessed. First of all I was excited about a place to meet my friend Shannon, who is moving in a couple blocks away from me. There has been some tension between us, but this dream made me feel at ease about things.  This dream brought up some new ideas about the dream shop my husband and I are hoping to open in the fall/winter. I have mostly been thinking about dream and sleep teas and snacks, herbs, books and other literature. I love the magical quality of the little tiny bottles inside the handmade metal boxes. It reminds me of the dream and sleep oils I like to smell before bed. Shannon gave me one of my favorite ones (one that I sniffed right before the dream below). Shannon also once told me that she was a duck–seeming calm above the waters, but paddling away underneath. I wonder if she is a bit more majestic than that.

7/9/10 Dream: Someone has been behaving like Hitler. He is not Hitler. But there is violent discrimination, people are being shuffled into the dark cellar room. They have their heads covered as they run. I think, “It is only natural that we would feel fear and get caught up in this drama.” As I think this, he turns to me and sees me. He puts his arm up and out and our palms meet as I put my hand in the ‘fear not’ mudra. I immediately begin saying the protection mantras I was taught by my teacher. I concentrate intensely. After about the fifth verse everyone vanishes into a pale golden light.

Wake: Another Hitler dream. This has become the symbol of evil in my dreams. I used to have a lot of dreams with killing, but they didn’t really worry me so much–it was easy enough to see it as a metaphor. Hitler is more stressful for me. I tried to think of something this could be related to in the waking time–Arizona’s new immigration law came up, but there are many others. Most importantly, in the dream I am secure in the protection that my Guru has given me. I have used the protection mantras in waking time and in dreamtime many times. In waking time the mantras dispell negative energy and provide physical protection. In dreamtime they usually break the spell of the dream. There is so much negativity in the world. Some of it is very compelling, drawing us into a nightmare. For me it is important to remember that I participate in manifesting reality, (it is a group project,) and that projecting the most positive energy possible will do more than being drawn into a nightmares and nightmarish situations. This doesn’t mean that I think such negative situations should be ignored. It is an alternate way to react to the negativity.

Shannon’s oil blend “Medievel Mix” is what I sniffed before I went to sleep and had this dream. The oil contains dream herbs: lavender, thyme and rosemary. Thyme is good for nightmares. It’s funny because it seems like I have a bad dream whenever I take it, but somehow I have a really great attitude about the nightmare and get a lot out of it. So…I guess it improves nightmares, or perhaps helps process nightmares. It is purported to be great for kids with terrors. Lavender is good for insomnia, especially for sensitive people. Rosemary is for remembering and protection.

For the last three or four months I have been trying to find some Elderberry wine in the local shops. Yesterday I spoke with my herb instructor/olist and was feeling the plant energy strongly. Afterwards I ran to Fred Meyer’s to get some last minute avocados. After grabbing one, I wander, feeling a bit guided, into the wine area. It is not an area that I normally go to as I’m not a drinker. I will, however, make an exception/create an opportunity for an exception, if the alcohol is herbal. (I had some Wild Wines Lemon Balm wine last year, very heating and strong.) I found myself directly in front of all sorts of fruit wines. Hmmm…I asked myself, “Could it be…here in Fred Meyer’s of all places?” I look and look through all the bottles, and sure enough there is some crappy Manischewitz Elderberry wine. Oy vey! I know it’s going to taste like juice, but I am totally game.  I’m just hoping that the “artifical colors and flavors” that they so prominently advertise on the front of the bottle are not what makes it elderberry.

Later that night I drank a glass with a couple friends. It has been a long time since I drank regular wine, but it seemed more mellow, warmly expansive, and less of a bonk over the head than straight-up grape wine. It had a more subtle flavor than welch’s, although not too far off. And–yeah! for me–it did not give me the feeling that my limbs are falling off that I get from most alcohols, including a strong kombucha. I liked it, but very much look forward to trying some that is not so sweet. The let down from the sugar high was probably worse than the let down from the alcohol.

To add to the excitement of my super herby day my friends and I spent some time talking excitedly about nettles (but, how else can you talk about nettles–they are so exciting!). We’re planning a little nettle party, that will include, as I so eloquently put it in my happy tipsy state:  

‘I hope there will be beer making, soup, and that I get to flagelate people.’

Thank you to Martha Stewart, here’s a great Nettle soup recipe. I can’t wait to make it again. We’ll be experimenting on my balding friends to see if the nettles will bring back their hair.

Later that night I slept with my crystal for the first time in a while and at one point woke up with it by my left hip (it tends to wander to where it’s needed). I had visions of little children and babies all night long.  All in all making it was an exciting day and night.

A couple animals have crept into my city life.

On New Year’s Eve I was in a group meditation and bear appeared to me. I saw bear’s head and shoulders as the bear was standing and growling/talking. The last couple times I saw bear, bear was pawing at me, waking me up.

A couple days ago I was down at Oaks Bottom Wildlife Refuge, checking out an area I hadn’t been to yet. I was walking the trail along the river and saw one deer foot print. Just one! It was very nice to see deer.

Finally my second Dreamtime Pamphlet is complete. This one: “Manifest Your Dreams”, continues where the last one left off in dreamtime and continues on to give some introductory info on manifesting/being lucid in the waking time. Come on, you know you want to check it out. Get one here.

Dream: I’m kneeling on a small side porch with another lady. The wood is golden and the yard is full and green. A young boy lays before me. He has died. A man walks up to us, we tell he has died. Just as we say this he comes to.

Inside the house is as large as the porch is small. There are wood beams made from the same golden wood. The boy is running around inside now.

There are huge room dividers–8′ to 10′ tall and 10′ to 12′ wide–they are wooden frames with many windows that have glass blocks hanging in them. The dividers are on wheels and the blocks swing when they are moved. There is one with colored glass (purples and reds) and one with clear glass with different textures–like swimming pool glass bricks. I move them because they are meant to be moved and am surprised when the wall doesn’t fall over. I had a feeling it was going to fall over. The boy moves the same wall back towards me a bit, but he is rough and it does fall over. I note that this was what I had thought would happen.

I walk outside now. It is more shadowy and woodsy now, feels like fall.

One of three witches comes up to me–she asks me to join them, smiling. I had been looking for that, but now I am with the people at the house. I glance back in that direction. They aren’t focusing our energy together as the witches would, but we work well together. I am happy with them now.

She says again that they’d like me to join them, but I have to give up my asshole. They all have, she says, they’ve had asshole-ectomies, if you will, and are no worse for it.

Several questions/thoughts come to mind:

a.) Give up my asshole–wtf?

b.) Isn’t it a little hard to hold your shit in without an anal sphincter?

“We’re all free flowing with our shit,” and raises her arms and shakes her hips softly side to side as she says this.

c.) I wonder if they are really talking about my butt tension (I have a tendency to hold tension there), because of the way she shook her hips gently as she said that–so relaxed!

(All the witches have round hips and butts, a little plump, but it is clear (somehow), even through their skirts, that they have no assholes.)

d.) “What do you do?” I ask.

They say together that they have a river that runs through their house. “We get our answers there, but not just that–we get our answers everywhere,” they say, and smile together. I can see the river that runs through their house in my minds eye. It is filled with clean rolls of toilet paper and paper towels.

e.) Clean toilet paper rolls in the water–a little perplexing…is this what our processed water is these days?

f.) I totally relate to “getting the visions anywhere”, and this makes me happy to hear it from them.

g.) The cabin, a little dark wood sided thing, that stands behind them, is up off the ground a couple feet, reminds me of the trailer to be.

h.) I have to think about whether I want to get rid of my asshole at this point–the idea is a little confusing to me.

I walk away with my hands in my front pockets.

A woman comes up to me directly. She asks for help with a personal problem she is having. The light here is sunnier and warm. I start to guide her to the place where we will talk. (I think of the crystal and wish that I had it with me to help see.) Before we get there, she says “this is all I see and shows me an image of a muddy pool with something at the bottom. I say, “This is all you see?” It seems like a lot to me.

I dive into the pool. In the backgound I hear the witches, a bit jealous, wishing they could do what I was doing right now–seeing into the dream water. The crystal is with me, without out being in my hand. The water is clearer underneath the surface. I swim down to the broken car at the bottom. There are several male barbies tied to the wreckage with a rope. (I see people as barbies often in this dreamspace–the dreamspace of others). I don’t know if the man that has been physically hurting her is dead with, or has killed these people, but I know he is no longer an issue to her. I swim up and tell her that she is safe now.

Wake: I’d been having some nightmares and trouble sleeping the last couple nights. So, before going to bed, I thought about my dream skills, and pictured myself in the middle of the directions/elements, and feeling their energy. I wasn’t even really thinking about it being the fall equinox, because I always think of it as on the 23rd of Sept, my birthday, as it was the year I was born.

This dream is full of exciting stuff. The young boy dies–is this the first half of the year coming to a close? Aries, the young boy/mars energy pretending to pass away–but still making mischief–while the female, venus energy is more dominant?

The witches seem like the other corners of the compass. I had been looking for them, but had forgotten.

The dream trailer pops up twice. I am reminded of it in the witches cabin, and it is the place that I would lead the woman who asks for my help to.

This dream was such an exciting dream to have the morning of my birthday. Fall is the time of the West–the setting sun–also in line with dreams, crystals, visions, water and emotions.

Asshole: Well, this one was a little confusing to me. I talked with Kevin and I think he was spot-on, when he suggested that this had to do with the root lock. The root lock is a certain way to tightening the anal sphincter that pushes the spiritual energy upwards. Or, to say that my spiritual path, which is all about sending the energy upwards, would need to be relaxed to allow both directions of energy flow. By letting this go, the energy is able to freely flow in and out through both the top of the head (crown) and root chakras. This would seem to allow for channeling to happen without the energy “sticking” to you–or holding on to the energy/information coming from outside. Also, it can be more easily grounding–which would be helpful in working with healing, like with the woman in the dream.

Dreams:

1. I am laying in a bed in a hospital, resting with my hands behind my head. I am looking over at the window, which is open about a foot, and there a hummingbird faerie is hovering. The faerie is about 14″ long, she has her back to me, and her tail curls under towards her stomach. The way her body looks, it could almost be made out of carved, and painted wood. She is there for 10-15 seconds, and then a doctor strolls in. The doctor has curly bobbed hair–reminding me of a perm and cut I got in 5th grade–a couple nurses trail behind her. I tell her, “I’ve just seen a hummingbird faerie!” Her response: “I don’t believe you.” I am not feeling so bad about this response. Mostly I am just very excited to have seen this beautiful creature.

An interesting result of my search results, but not looking like this:

Wake: Sometimes I see little dots of light here and there. They have a very particular presence to them. Usually they are small and white, but sometimes they are different colored. Yesterday I saw one that was much larger and golden colored. I have a friend who sees these too, and she thinks they are spirits/faeries. Before bed I asked to understand more about these little stars, and this dream seemed in answer.

My dreams have had a different edge to them the last couple days. I have put my seed crystal aside for a bit and am sleeping now with a ruby/kyanite sphere. I am eager to learn from these minerals together. Ruby is very invigorating/mars related; kyanite balances chakras.

2. I go to the place where I take pictures. I walk in front of the narrow piece of land with my camera hanging from my neck. I see the dry ground with stringy dead grass, where I have taken many photographs. This space has half a fence, that is trailing (like at a beach), and is between buildings. Today I look up past the workers in the yard, who are eating their sack lunches, and to the sea down the hill. It is bright blue, and the grass gets greener as it gets closer to the water. The scene is full of life and beauty. The supervisor recognizes me and he says, “they have seen you taking pictures of the ground” (the workers had been talking about me in Spanish. I say, “Yes, but look at what is here today,” gesturing at the sea. He turns around to appreciate the view.

I follow the supervisor down to the warehouse. Usually I take pictures, but today I am harvesting used toilet seats for my mobile home park. He understands my creative process.

Wake: I’ve never seen this place before in dreamtime. It reminds me of a couple spots I have seen in NE Portland, down on Mississippi and thereabouts. There are a few empty plots of land that are for sale, or for rent, right in the middle of main street development, that seem like perfect spots for a dream trailer.

I worked on the trailer this weekend–it is such a different process from my usual art projects. It requires so much physical rejuvenation. People ask me what I want to do to it, and always somewhere in there is a composting toilet, and then eventually it becomes an on again, off again part of my sustainable trailer court (one of my dream occupations: landlord of a sustainable trailer court). At this point the trailer work is more laborious and less creative. But, I always remember: It is hard work bringing the dreamtime into the waking. Fortunately I have another little project that is much more creative to keep me going until the trailer really starts to come to life. More on that to come.