fly awake

Here are two dreams from this week from opposite ends of the spectrum. In the end they are both positive, which underlines the importance of how we react to situations.

7/3/10–Dream

I am at the crossroads near our house. I have been thinking about how Shannon and I have been looking for a quiet place to meet, a park or green. We have looked for a long time and found little. Now I see, it is right here. The crossroads are filled with lush green grass that is about a foot high. A bird with a long white neck–a swan?–is moving through the grass.

A car comes through the intersection, it is very loud and I worry about the bird’s safety. After the car passes the bird is still there, but there is still noise–coming from the man hole, I think. I see the bird bobbing about. Another car comes and goes. The bird is across the intersection now. It rises to standing position and I see it has a smaller grayish white body–maybe it is an egret. The bird has a crystal pendent hanging around its neck on a very long chain. As she stands, she turns into a beautiful woman with long curly brown hair. She is wearing a simple dress. She has a very feminine body, but thin rather than round. She crosses the street to me–walking through the grass slowly. I am in awe of her presence and beauty. She is holding the ends of the chain with her arms spread wide as if to present the necklace to me. As she comes close I open my hands up to receive all she has to offer (not the necklace–I want to receive her), and say, “what can I learn from you?” I want her to know that I am receptive and show her my awe. When she’s only a couple feet away my eyes close in response to her energy. I don’t actually feel the necklace going on. I feel her vibrations strongly for a bit, then I begin to see pictures. I see little metal containers, about the size of lighters. They are handmade with different symbols on them. Inside are sets of tiny vials filled with liquids. Now I am in the living room/our future shop space. There are tiny white shelves mounted on the walls. Each one has one of the little metal boxes on it. This is a great idea for oils. Someone is hanging out and reading in the front room. There are some lavender and pink piles that need to be sorted out. We have to leave to do some errands. I tell the woman we are not really open for business yet (it’ll be a couple months), and we set out.

Wake: I loved this dream. I felt so blessed. First of all I was excited about a place to meet my friend Shannon, who is moving in a couple blocks away from me. There has been some tension between us, but this dream made me feel at ease about things.  This dream brought up some new ideas about the dream shop my husband and I are hoping to open in the fall/winter. I have mostly been thinking about dream and sleep teas and snacks, herbs, books and other literature. I love the magical quality of the little tiny bottles inside the handmade metal boxes. It reminds me of the dream and sleep oils I like to smell before bed. Shannon gave me one of my favorite ones (one that I sniffed right before the dream below). Shannon also once told me that she was a duck–seeming calm above the waters, but paddling away underneath. I wonder if she is a bit more majestic than that.

7/9/10 Dream: Someone has been behaving like Hitler. He is not Hitler. But there is violent discrimination, people are being shuffled into the dark cellar room. They have their heads covered as they run. I think, “It is only natural that we would feel fear and get caught up in this drama.” As I think this, he turns to me and sees me. He puts his arm up and out and our palms meet as I put my hand in the ‘fear not’ mudra. I immediately begin saying the protection mantras I was taught by my teacher. I concentrate intensely. After about the fifth verse everyone vanishes into a pale golden light.

Wake: Another Hitler dream. This has become the symbol of evil in my dreams. I used to have a lot of dreams with killing, but they didn’t really worry me so much–it was easy enough to see it as a metaphor. Hitler is more stressful for me. I tried to think of something this could be related to in the waking time–Arizona’s new immigration law came up, but there are many others. Most importantly, in the dream I am secure in the protection that my Guru has given me. I have used the protection mantras in waking time and in dreamtime many times. In waking time the mantras dispell negative energy and provide physical protection. In dreamtime they usually break the spell of the dream. There is so much negativity in the world. Some of it is very compelling, drawing us into a nightmare. For me it is important to remember that I participate in manifesting reality, (it is a group project,) and that projecting the most positive energy possible will do more than being drawn into a nightmares and nightmarish situations. This doesn’t mean that I think such negative situations should be ignored. It is an alternate way to react to the negativity.

Shannon’s oil blend “Medievel Mix” is what I sniffed before I went to sleep and had this dream. The oil contains dream herbs: lavender, thyme and rosemary. Thyme is good for nightmares. It’s funny because it seems like I have a bad dream whenever I take it, but somehow I have a really great attitude about the nightmare and get a lot out of it. So…I guess it improves nightmares, or perhaps helps process nightmares. It is purported to be great for kids with terrors. Lavender is good for insomnia, especially for sensitive people. Rosemary is for remembering and protection.

Well…a lot has happened in the last couple months. Major shifts in the waking time. Realizing the dream trailer was not going to happen any time soon, my husband and I bought a house. Our plan for the house it to make it into a dream venue…a place where people can come to share their dreams, interact lucidly, and do more commercial things, like purchase information, herbs and items related to dreaming.  It has been really awesome getting moved in and starting to paint the house and prepare to open shop–we’re thinking sometime between fall 1st, 2010 and spring 1st, 2011. The house has lots of beautiful garden space full of many awesome herbs and berries, and birds! I didn’t think I’d get to be close to birds in Portland but, here they are.
Today I was out walking my dog and I heard a couple crows screeching so, naturally, I screeched back. The pair came with me the rest of my way home as we cawed back and forth. It was great to make loud wild noises, and it was so nice to connect with the crows! It has been a while for animal connections, and it tells me I am in the right place.

Now that we are situated in our house, more dreams to come.

Dream: I am flying like an owl! I lift up my arms in waves like owls do and my head points forward. I am not an owl, but my arms move like an owl moves its wings. I am outside above some green, flying at shoulder height around a few people. I waver a couple times, but manage to remember how to stay aloft and keep going. I fly a short distance and see a large owl feather about 20 feet in front of me, near a woman’s head. It is huge and I am very excited that I have only just started flying like an owl and already this feather has popped into my life.

I fly closer. A man is standing next to the woman, and her boyfriend is across from her closer to me (as I fly by him). The two men are positioned across from each other like you would be to play catch. They are somehow using the feather as a lure for hunting or something. I stand in front of the woman and see that this approximately 16 inch long feather is attached to her right ear.

I tell her I like the feather. She says something like, “Yeah, thanks, it’s cool isn’t it?” I say, “Let me be more clear: What do I need to do to get you to give me that feather?” She thinks for a moment and says, “Make me a scout troop 023 hat.” “Oh, 23,” I’m thinking, “that’s a good number.”

I get right on it. I’m home at my desk making the scout hat. It’s an old army green cap.  I’ve already printed out the patches for the numbers from the internet. Still I have a few more finishing touches to do.

Wake: I am so excited to be flying that I forget that it is a dream. Everything is very good–the flying, the feather, the number 23 (my fav), that I can attain what I desire. This dream was such a relief, the last week I have been over heated and stressed and have had more than my share of nightmares and stress dreams–oy vey! Finally a dream that was uplifting so to speak. There are a couple things that intrigue me: 1) men using the feather (attached to girlfriend) as a lure and 2.) owl, which I love, but can also signal deception. I’ll have to be watching, in an owl way, to see what’s going on under the surface. The silent killers are my friends.

(About a month ago) Dream: It is night time. I walk into the woods. I look up into the trees and see some birds. Ah! One is an owl. He turns his head around to see me. His feathers are black. His body is barely there. Mostly feathers and feet and a head. The feathers hang loosely and are dull. I look up at it and ask how it is to be a silent feather. I am very excited, my eyes are wide. The owl swoops at me silently three times, he looks straight at me while he silently swoops.

Wake: It was so nice to see owl again, but I think the owl was so thin because I have not been thinking of my friend and ally lately. For a while I meditated on owl and felt the silent feather action. But need to continue to tune into owl’s hum.

Last night dream: I am 12 years old, sitting in a meadow. A man is with me, the situation becomes uncomfortable, I worry. I group of barn owls, with their moon faces, lands in the grass near me. They are my protectors.

Wake: Owls are sometimes feared because they are silent and can see in almost all directions. Owls have much to teach us. I love how they can hear what is going on beneath the ground, find what they are after and obtain it, all in the darkness, all quiet. They are teachers of clairaudience. They can tell us when we are being deceived.

In the waking time I have been seeing a lot of hawks…it is nice and brisk out lately, just the way they like it. Hawks are the messengers and when you see them it is time to pay attention to messages, notice little details.

Last night in dreamtime:

I am traveling through New Mexico and I see a mountain lion crossing my path, maybe 30 feet away.  Later I am driving through Iowa and another mountain lion crosses my path even closer. He has scars and scuffs on his coat. I am very aware of his power, and for a second I worry that it will come after me in my car. I dismiss that fear, and proceed to be oh, so happy that I have seen, not one, but two! mountain lions. I go around telling people about my experience.

I talk to my mother and I say that I may come back to Iowa City for three weeks, (a surprise to me most of all). I wonder if I will have enough vacation time.

Wake:

I love mountain lions. I remember when I first became interested in them and I wished to see them so badly. The next year there were sitings in Iowa City and the surrounding areas. So close! Mountain lions are noble leaders, and solo hunters.

In my dream somehow I seemed to think that I was seeing them only because I was in Iowa. Maybe that’s why I decided to go back. Really there is so much wildlife here in Oregon, it’s just a matter of getting out of the city. In addition to the awesomeness of the lions, I liked this dream for all the roaming around I did in open spaces. It was also notable because the lions looked so very lifelike.

Dream:

I am outside and I see two little birds. I love them and so I pick them up and put them in the front pocket of my shirt to take them home. They are song birds; one has mostly brown feathers with some red patches and one is brown with some olive/yellow colored feathers like a female gold finch. They are both a little larger than typical song birds.

I take them home to my dorm room which I share with two other ladies (Shyamie and someone else). Coco is there too, and I am worried that they won’t all get along. Coco doesn’t really bark, and the birds don’t seem worried about him. I set the birds on my new drawing desk. I give them some stuffed animals, too. Their nest is the very soft and squishy belly of a teddy bear. My roommate moves the desk from right in front of the window that lets in all the light, over to the corner. The birds fall when the desk is moved. When they fall a lot of water falls to the ground too. Shyamie sees the spill and mentions it to me. I am a little ashamed, I didn’t want her to see it. The birds fly back up to the teddy bear belly nest. I look back at the spill and it has almost dried up. I feel relieved.

The birds seem happy and even though they are in the corner I think they seem to have plenty of light and to be doing well.  We all seem to work together in the small environment.

Wake:

I have not felt like I had a good creative space in my apartment that I’ve lived in for the last two years. Recently I got a small drawing desk and carved out a space for myself in corner near our front window. Now I can sit and draw my dreams and experiences. When I look over my shoulder I see the little song birds flying in and out of the tree nearby and resting on our fire escape. It feels very comforting to have this little space and to be drawing again (which I haven’t done much of since college), maybe that’s where the teddy bear comes in. Regardless, it is very nice to have my little work space.

Dream:

I am in a small town with mud on the streets. I go up some short steps into a small store. There is a pharmacy run by my hospital off to the side and then general kitschy stuff being sold in the main store. In the back of the kitsch store are some crystals. I think maybe I could work at the pharmacy if there are crystals nearby. I look at the pharmacy and wonder if there is a place for me there–I am looking for a new job. Three little dogs are with me. Coco, my chihuahua, who is harnessed to a smaller version of our neighbor dog, Twiggy, and Dirk, my brother’s chiweenie. They are running around the store off leash. I realize that Coco is about to poop, so I rush him outside.

I am standing on the small brick and cement stoop as Coco poops, when Crow comes up to me. He is crow but he stands like a man, and is as tall as one. He has quite the flop-to-the-side hair do of thick black feathers. I am absolutely delighted to have this encounter. He talks to me and shakes–not hands, but his whole wing snaking around my whole arm–it’s lovely and very friendly. I ask him a few questions, and then I am smart enough to remember to ask him, “But…what is it like to be Crow?” He shows me images of his life growing up. There is a lot of classroom education, he shows  himself as crow, and human, and back again; frequently it comes back to these balls of doughy, multicolored stuff. I think it is about food. I knew crows were smart, it is exciting to see that they are taught in such a way.

We go off jet skiing together, and the purpose of our jet skiing is to arrive in the back of a larger boat. We dock and climb in. We sit together in water proof lounge chairs as the boat roars ahead. We do this again a little later, but this time we are with one of my coworkers and my mom. Behind us are some smaller crows on jet skis. Crow points our how it is harder for them. My coworker, Crow, my mother and I are going to a fancy restaurant, my mom says she will buy drinks. Well this is all very nice, but none of us really want a drink, so we are all a little put off by this ill aimed gift. I wonder if this was part of the appeal in the offer, for my mother, that we wouldn’t really take her up on it.

Another time, Crow is stuck in some water. He has a lot of stuff with him, goods and gifts, things that we (humans, I think) are not supposed to know about. He hides them under water, I can see them under water, so I don’t think he is hiding his gifts from me.  We come to help him onto the yacht that is waiting for him near by. He has his arms crossed over his chest while he waits. We pick him up and get him to the yacht, the water is glassy and the boat is beautiful. He has his stuff.

Wake: Hmmm…water and Crow.  Crow is the shapeshifter, able to be in two places at once, to change reality and see the future–he also walks his talk.  He is crow and human. Here I am with the crystals and their opposite–the world of pharmaceuticals. Perhaps he reminds me to be in two places at once. When I am frustrated at being in the pharmaceutical world, I could also be in the world of crystals. Rather than lament limitations of my place of employment, I can shift reality, there are so many choices. Rather than being sad about my work, I should walk my talk and alter my awareness of my surroundings, drawing out what I want from them.

I love being surrounded by the crows here in Portland.

Two fish dreams lately:

1. (a week or so ago) An eagle flying through big blue sky, while carrying a large fish.

2.  (last night–gallactic activation portal)My brother guides me to the river. He jumps down about 4 or 5 feet into the swiftly moving water. As I jump in, a salmon jumps over a waterfall/dam that we are just beyond. I watch, wondering how he will reenter the water. He turns so that his sharp, (or narrow,) top part of his back, slices the water’s surface and he enters easily. When I jump in the water is much more shallow that I thought it would be, only a couple feet. I think I should be able to fly along the river because the salmon can. I don’t seem to be able to. I crouch so that the dark water will cover most of me. My brother is swimming ahead of me so how.  We swim along the river and end up at a party with a lot of people from our home town. I see people from high school and college.  I find myself happy to see the different people.  My friend Dee offers me a large can of beer. I tell her I don’t drink. She seems a little at a loss as to what to do after that.  The colors are warm and lively–lots of browns, like the earth and trees.

Awake:

I took the first dream as a good omen. I was happy to see the eagle, and I figured the eagle must be happy too, with his catch. The second dream was a good one. In waking time my brother is afraid of water. He used to swim in triathelons, but finally he decided it was okay that he didn’t like water. In the dream he seems to be doing just fine in the water. Since the water rules emotions and my brother guides me back to the past, I think that this is related to our family and youth. I recently took a trip to Chicago to see my mother and go to a family wedding. It was a challenge to be with my mother. My brother recently started talking to my mother after years of refusing to talk to her. My mother’s birthday was a few days ago and she told me that he sent her a funny card. I wondered how he could do that (thinking of my recent frusterating interaction with her).  The dream offers me two sources for dealing with these waters. One is my brother. Perhaps after his long separation from my mother, he now has a perspective on things that may be helpful for me. The second is the salmon. Salmon teaches about inner wisdom, and staying centered in the midst of strong currents. Salmon also teaches how to gracefully return to where we came from. Challenges aren’t hardships, they are new adventures and lessons. Finally my brother is going back to where he came from. As I do too, I must remember to stay inspired by life, and not feel so wrecked by difficult situations.

Well, what can I say, it’s been an interesting Summer so far–actually feeling like Summer, now that it is winding up. Went to the ocean the other day–freaking awesome. My friend and I were on a camping trip and we ended up at a not-so-exciting camp site, but quite near the ocean. When we got to the ocean, it was warm enough to swim in–unusual for Oregon–and very secluded–not seeing other people and town, etc. The swimming was lovely, and the Ocean herself was truly awesome. Some pelicans swooped down to feed near us–so big and amazing. It was the best trip to the beach I have ever had, followed up by an evening of campfire, good company, and packaged Indian food–what more could I ask for?

This is quite interesting–from the BBC, about how larger mammals align with the directions.

On another note, Terry is looking a little dismal right now. Pictures soon, when looking even more dismal. Terry has been neglected for so long, :(. I’m not sure if he’s happy that we are undressing him, or if just annoyed that we interrupted his process of disintegration. Right now he’s stretching his dirty armpits, enjoying some air, soon to be cleaned up.

Dreams:

1. I am laying in a bed in a hospital, resting with my hands behind my head. I am looking over at the window, which is open about a foot, and there a hummingbird faerie is hovering. The faerie is about 14″ long, she has her back to me, and her tail curls under towards her stomach. The way her body looks, it could almost be made out of carved, and painted wood. She is there for 10-15 seconds, and then a doctor strolls in. The doctor has curly bobbed hair–reminding me of a perm and cut I got in 5th grade–a couple nurses trail behind her. I tell her, “I’ve just seen a hummingbird faerie!” Her response: “I don’t believe you.” I am not feeling so bad about this response. Mostly I am just very excited to have seen this beautiful creature.

An interesting result of my search results, but not looking like this:

Wake: Sometimes I see little dots of light here and there. They have a very particular presence to them. Usually they are small and white, but sometimes they are different colored. Yesterday I saw one that was much larger and golden colored. I have a friend who sees these too, and she thinks they are spirits/faeries. Before bed I asked to understand more about these little stars, and this dream seemed in answer.

My dreams have had a different edge to them the last couple days. I have put my seed crystal aside for a bit and am sleeping now with a ruby/kyanite sphere. I am eager to learn from these minerals together. Ruby is very invigorating/mars related; kyanite balances chakras.

2. I go to the place where I take pictures. I walk in front of the narrow piece of land with my camera hanging from my neck. I see the dry ground with stringy dead grass, where I have taken many photographs. This space has half a fence, that is trailing (like at a beach), and is between buildings. Today I look up past the workers in the yard, who are eating their sack lunches, and to the sea down the hill. It is bright blue, and the grass gets greener as it gets closer to the water. The scene is full of life and beauty. The supervisor recognizes me and he says, “they have seen you taking pictures of the ground” (the workers had been talking about me in Spanish. I say, “Yes, but look at what is here today,” gesturing at the sea. He turns around to appreciate the view.

I follow the supervisor down to the warehouse. Usually I take pictures, but today I am harvesting used toilet seats for my mobile home park. He understands my creative process.

Wake: I’ve never seen this place before in dreamtime. It reminds me of a couple spots I have seen in NE Portland, down on Mississippi and thereabouts. There are a few empty plots of land that are for sale, or for rent, right in the middle of main street development, that seem like perfect spots for a dream trailer.

I worked on the trailer this weekend–it is such a different process from my usual art projects. It requires so much physical rejuvenation. People ask me what I want to do to it, and always somewhere in there is a composting toilet, and then eventually it becomes an on again, off again part of my sustainable trailer court (one of my dream occupations: landlord of a sustainable trailer court). At this point the trailer work is more laborious and less creative. But, I always remember: It is hard work bringing the dreamtime into the waking. Fortunately I have another little project that is much more creative to keep me going until the trailer really starts to come to life. More on that to come.