1. My realtor (my friend Phoebe) shows me a nice house in Iowa. It is a boxy, modern brown building, circa 1970′s. It is in thick a thick native habitat. It is for sale for $205,000. The man who lives there is settled in upstairs. I’m not sure why he’s not occupying the whole house. I wonder if he’s renting out the first floor, or something. It seems empty.

The house is nicely done, though not exactly to my taste. Still, I could see living there and not having to do anything to fix it up for a while. There are at least two and a half bathrooms. The first floor is nice but the second floor is much better. The view out of the upstairs kitchen is amazing. It is a midsection of the woods. Looking out I see lots of understory ferns and other lush greens, the tops of smaller trees and  the middle of larger trees. I imagine living there and wildcrafting in the woods.  As this scenario runs through my mind, I realize that many Native Americans are there with with me also working with the plants. There must be a dozen or so of them. I didn’t see them at first because they are so harmonious with the environment.

I don’t think I can afford this house yet. The man is working two jobs to (not) afford it. He has some very professional job (lawyer?) and then he also picked up work doing financial management. Still I imagine myself there. It is such a beautiful house and land for not so much money (compared to property in here in Oregon). I love being able to wild craft from the native plants but, I would like a little space to grow some of my own choosing. I imagine optimistically that this may be already part of the property. I haven’t seen everything yet, maybe it’s all there.

2. I’m in an older man’s house. He has gray hair and is putzing around the house. I am asking him questions about birds, animals and living harmoniously with nature. I ask him about shoelessness, if he really goes shoeless. He recommends booties. They are larger versions of some cloth booties I had when I was little. I ask him if he’s serious. He is. I think about this for a while. It seems reasonable, perhaps even smart. I leaf though some old chromo lithographs of large birds as I stand in the relaxed, shady environment he has created in his living room. The back of this room is largely windows. They are open and I go out onto the small roof/ledge (we’re on the second floor). I see two owls, the larger one grabs the smaller one (different species) in his beak and flies to a nearby tree. I think that must be very heavy for the owl. He did not seem to mind the weight. The other bird did not seem like he could have gotten there without the help. I perch on a branch next to them. The are inside a tree house-like structure. I talk to them as I sit there. At one point I need to pee. They tell me to just go ahead and pee from the perch. I am there with my butt exposed, crouched on the branch. I notice some people walking below…a woman with short dark hair. I ask if it’s really okay. The owls tell me they do it all the time. I feel a little self conscious. I fly back over to the ledge. There is another owl there. This one is on a tether. The owl seems shy/cautious. I coax him over to me and pet him. At one point I make a loud, jarring noise and he shies away again. I manage to get him to come over again and pet him gently, being more careful about my sounds.

All three owl’s seem like they are on leashes of some sort (confined in some manner), perhaps injured or mending, and at the same time free to leave.

Wake: I am headed back to Iowa soon . I grew up there and part of me longs to be in a more quiet environment and near my old friends. I do think about the possibility of returning more permanently. In the dream I feel like the house could potentially meet my needs/desires, but that I wasn’t ready. In some ways I feel like I can identify with the seller as much as “myself” in the dream. I find myself stashed upstairs in my house, perhaps thinking that by living in less of the house I’ll have less of the house to deal with financially and otherwise. I also just feel like I don’t need as much space as I have. It’s odd to not feel like I fit into my housing situation. I normally nest quite easily. I like the idea that there are many other people in the forest, that they are just not so obvious because they are in harmony with nature. Perhaps I could be in good company in that situation, better than I would expect. Though the dream seems to take place in Iowa, it seems like it could be about my current situation/Oregon as well.

I find this second dream to be very satisfying and entertaining. I loved talking to this mentor-ish man and being in his environment. I love owls. They remind me of parts of myself that I’d like to reconnect with. The situation with the birds kind of reminded me of raptor center birds–birds being cared for because they could not be on their own in nature. Perhaps volunteering with rescued birds would allow me to connect more deeply with birds. I’m looking into it.

In both dreams I was on the second floor. Could this be about the second chakra, or more about my current situation in my nesty feeling second floor living in my home (we’ve moved most of out stuff out of the basement and first floor and into the second floor).

I’ve seen a lot of birds lately. Hawks, woodpeckers, crows, the little guys, maybe a falcon. I wonder if it is a sign of things to come. Iowa is the place where I connected so strongly to large birds. This trip will be the first time I have been back in five years.

I am in a large opening in a hallway with very high ceilings. I jump up, not sure if it will work. It does. I fly upwards to the dozen or so feet below the ceiling that is populated with cables that lights are hanging from. I swing from and around on some of them. I am enjoying myself. There are still people around me, including one up in the air nearby.  He seems strange (like everyone from the first part of the dream), but still I am happy to be up in the air flying.

Wake: I recently saw an open sign that was a cheshire cat with “open” in its mouth. That cat makes me feel funny. I haven’t read the book or seen the movie, but the cat has a mad, uncomfortable vibe.

Yesterday I smoked the kinnik kinnik from Good4You’s shop. I wasn’t really in the best position to experience this and truly connect with the nature forces that I wanted to interact with (there was a lot of stuff going on in the house). However, I wanted to give it a try anyway, since it seemed like it would be a long time before circumstances would be ideal. I felt a little strange and discombobulated. I did not feel like I could tune into the forces of nature very well. In the end I decided to meditate, and that was quite nice, deeper than normal. In the dream and in this experience, I get what I normally seek out first as a kind of fall back activity. Maybe it is time to re-prioritize: meditation/flight.

Wake: There is so much energy in the dream. The high energy of the people on land, the choppy sea, the wind that feels like it could knock me over. Then there is the oil, as well as nuclear energy and microwaves that came to mind on waking (thoughts brought back from recent days). I think about how much natural energy was present (except fire–I guess burning oil might count). Harnessing the wind energy alone seems like it could satisfy whatever needs are being met by oil. When I think of the nuclear, microwave and oil…I wonder if there are areas of my life where I am seeking outside myself for energy (and going quite a distance) when I could be harnessing what is near and harmonious with nature.
The whole American pride theme is interesting. We are singing of pride and focusing on energy from other lands. This seems pretty apt, given our current disgusting use of outside energy and outsourcing in general as a culture. Personally, I have been using a lot more gas lately and it is not making me happy. It definitly does not go with my value system. I would like to be centered at my homestead and providing people a connection to the elements. Instead I am using up gas for my job that has changed driving requirements and a lot of other driving that I could probably reduce a lot if I put my mind to it.
Air and Water: The other day I was thinking about emotions running high (water) and how there are a couple strategies to deal with them. Mainly, getting physical (Earth/grounding): like running or walking it out; or asking God/spiritual beings for help and guidance (Fire/inspiration). I wondered at the time why air wasn’t such a good way to go (like psychology or mentally trying to surpass one’s emotions). This dream made me see how connected the winds and water can be.
Plenty of food for thought about energy, etc.

Wake: This dream felt pretty mundane. It gave me a real sense of permission to deal with a long time problem. My father and my brother have given me a lot of furniture that they don’t have space for but don’t want to part with. The furniture doesn’t really work with my style or needs currently. I end up shuffling the furniture around out of a sense of obligation and a bit of sentimentality. The sentimentality is much less now that my father, the carpenter behind the goods, cast me out of his life a year or so ago. I think this mostly has to do with his aging mind, but still it has tarnished any sentimentality I felt towards the things that came from him. In the dream I didn’t really feel like changing the situation was an option–but I am more awake now, I guess! I feel like I can unload some of the furniture. Maybe I’ll make a bit of cash for some repairs, or furniture that’s my style. It will feel nice to get rid of such heavy family baggage.

Thurs April 26th, 7pm at…Reading Frenzy, 921 SW Oak St. PDX

I am on a road in the mountains in Oregon. There are animals around. I am in a house, a nice house–a bit vacationy, with large windows, wood, nice architecture. There is snow around. I see a coyote and another animal. This animal has a the markings of a chipmunk and a tail that curls inwards…but large like a raccoon. It scuttles across the yard. Coco barks at the coyote and it puffs up like a cat, looks ruffled, then slowly moves on while looking at me. There are bears. A young girl (10 or 12 years old?) runs up behind a large bear and jumps on its back. She is serious, but playful at the same time. I watch from the house.

Wake: I wonder if this dream is about me tricking myself (coyote behavior) into thinking that there are no animals here. Obviously there are plenty of animals in Oregon, (including coyotes that roam Portland, though I’ve never seen one, maybe Coco scared them off). But, it seems like I am further from them than I was in Iowa where deer walk around town at night and there are so many big birds. Also, I think I was hoping that I would see some bear before leaving Portland (not that I’m leaving!) yesterday evening.

Dream: In the house again. There are three bears. Two large bears and a baby. The baby hurls itself at the house’s big window, hitting it up high and sliding down to the ground. It wants to play. It runs back to the other bear. The girl is there again, riding on the bear’s back.

I am walking through my mother’s Victorian house. The architecture is fancy (gingerbread, turrets, etc.). It is old and gray. Gray like old white, dirty, paint pealing. Not bad wear and tear, just very aged. The disrepair doesn’t make me worried, just indicates to me that ongoing maintenance is needed. I am excited about the space. I keep looking around. I want there to be secret spaces. I’ve always liked the idea of secret passages and hiding places for my future house. I just don’t see where I could install any secret spaces without it being evident. I’ll inherit this house someday. I feel optimistic and a little enthusiastic.

My mother is in the house too. She starts showing me all the secret places in the house. She says the previous owners must have put them in. There is a double wall in the turret that doesn’t even show. (I had thought about trying to section off a secret space in here, but thought it’d be too obvious. However their wall totally blends in, and gives a couple feet of hiding space between the two walls.) This thrills me a bit, I love discovering the potential and mystery of this old building. There are other hiding spots, she shows me a few of them.  I am so excited that I will inherit this space someday.

Wake: I have been doing some work with the pelvic bowl and thinking about my female lineage. I typically think of houses representing the body in dreams. It particularly makes sense in this dream, because I strongly associate my mother with owning old houses and restoration–she also has a similar interest in secret rooms. My mother and I have a very tense relationship, but this dream reminds me that there are positive things that come through my mother to me. She holds wisdom in her body. Wisdom I channeled during the birth of my child. There is other wisdom too, that will begin to be revealed to me over time.

The dream also brings to mind birch energy with the color and texture of the house woodwork, walls, and pealing paint. I was thinking that birch might be a good energy guide me through my pelvic work. Birch epitomizes grandmother energy and the letting go of old beliefs and patterns of behavior. I look forward to deepening my access of the pelvic bowl medicine, and understanding my future wise old home!

1. I learn to weld. It’s a bit electrifying energetically when the metals come together with the heat. There are four points/dots that I fuse together on smallish metal sheets. I see a close up of orange-ish/red hot metal. I look back over my shoulder and grin (at my guide).

2. A voice is guiding me, giving me advice and instruction. I hear, “You will eventually learn to see the four directions as your guides.”

Wake:

I have been asking for dreams to help me feel connected with the South/fire and inspiration. The color in first dream is the one I associate with the South: orangey/pinkish red. And…heat, creativity, new inspired knowledge/skill. All things I associate with the South. The other association I have with welding with is my grandfather. I never met him, but he was apparently a very fiery fellow, he came to America and taught himself to weld from a book, and that is how he earned his living. He was a very self-motivated man. He read the dictionary in his spare time to improve his English, and playing several brass instruments in a big band. He had some failings associated with being too fiery as well. The challenge for me is to bring forward the strength of my fiery ancestry without the failings.

I woke from these dreams feeling refreshed and inspired. I have lately been reinvigorating my call to the elements, trying to gather their energy into my being. These dreams helped me feel more connected and stronger in that practice.  I will keep working with the elements–focusing on the South, the direction I feel least in tuned into.